On Wednesday, February 8^th, Babeland is hosting a book launch and discussion for Great in Bed with co-authors Dr. Debby Herbenick and Grant Stoddard. The comprehensive sex guide offers a she thinks/he thinks perspective on modern sex and hits just in time for Valentine’s Day!

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher and teacher at The Kinsey Institute and Indiana University who started teaching sex ed to college students at IU. She has written sex columns for numerous newspapers and magazines and is frequently called on by journalists, which is how she met Grant Stoddard. Grant is an author and journalist, covering sex and lifestyles for numerous magazines, including New York, GQ and Glamour. Grant started writing about sex as a naïve intern at Nerve.com with the “I Did It For Science” column. They both have great blogs, too. Check out MySexProfessor.com, and GrantStoddard.com.

Q: One of the things I appreciated about Great in Bed is that it gives a lot of advice about handling the different situations that come with sex – from the first date to the morning after. How did you decide what to focus on? There’s so much to say about sex!

Debby: We wanted Great in Bed to be able to help a wide range of people to have fantastic sex – whether they were just starting out with someone or trying to find ways to make sex better after several months or years together. We also, of course, realize that quality sex doesn’t wait until you have your clothes off and are rolling around naked. You’ve got to meet someone first. Get things to go well. Flirt, touch, kiss, have something to say to one another. All of it matters.

Grant: I thought of practical information that I really could have used instead of learning through trial and error. And of course, I’m always striving to be better in bed (as we all should be) so I learned a lot of fascinating new information through my research and even more from Dr. Debby’s wealth of knowledge in the field. I’ve already referred to it a dozen times or more! (Not *during* the act, obviously.)

Q: There’s a message throughout the book about feeling confident. We teach sex workshops at Babeland and notice that this is the number one challenge for our customers. Why do people generally feel this lack of sexual confidence?

Debby: As a society, we don’t give people much sex education or information to go on. Most of us have a sense that we’re pretty much in the dark when it comes to sex. It takes practice, learning, exposure to ideas, a partner who smiles or moans and lets you know things are going well – all of these can build confidence.

Grant: I think it’s also because people fear judgment. We’re bombarded with information about what’s “normal” and what’s not and we may be hesitant to share what turns us on for fear of feeling judged. I remember plucking up the courage to do this particular thing I had refrained from doing for weeks — thinking I’d freak my partner out – only to find that she loved that thing, too. Through experience I’ve learned that the more that we are our true selves (in sex and in life) the happier we are. This is borne out in several studies in the book — some of which were authored by Debby herself. Read the rest of this entry »

I always feel very lucky when Midori is visiting Seattle. She usually comes this way at least once a year, and thankfully Babeland is always on her list of places where she wants to teach. We have her teaching here this weekend while she is in town putting on Bang 4 The Buck, hands down the hottest women’s play party of the year. It is a fundraiser for AIDS Life Cycle, and Babeland donates tons of sex toys to the raffle to help raise money. The Strip-O-Rama is beyond hot with all shapes and sizes of women taking it off to the cheering crowd for charity. If you don’t have your tickets yet, be sure to get them ASAP and bring your dollar bills.

Midori is one of THE best sex educators I have had the honor of learning from. I especially love how much she pays attention to her pupils and weaves their questions into the lesson in seamless ways so we are all learning her tips and tricks and applying them to specific real life situations.

This weekend she is teaching the Art of Feminine Dominance, Level 1. I have taken this class before, and it has a major positive impact on my sex life. People often think they have to be a dominatrix to take this class, but really this class is about getting what you want in the bedroom, and in life in general to be honest.

This class is really a confidence booster at its core. It teaches you how to walk into a room and take charge. Not ordering people around and using a whip “take charge” (unless that is what you were hoping for), but how to channel your feminine energy; head up, shoulder back and walk into that room and with the turn of your head, the way you sit down, or ask (read: tell) someone to get you something, or touch someone, or look their way, “take charge”. It helps in the bedroom whether you want to be the top, or the bottom. It helps on first dates asserting yourself and conveying what you want in a relationship. It helps in long term relationships when you want to spice things up. It helps if you are typically passive and want a little role reversal. And it helps when you need that boost of confidence in other, non sexual situations. Midori is great at helping each participant develop their own brand of feminine dominance. It looks and feels really different for everyone, and she is a master at helping each person bring it out in their own way.

Take advantage of this opportunity to learn from Midori while she is in town. She might not be back again until next February so don’t miss her now.

Comment below to enter to win a ticket to this weekend’s class. Tell us your own tips for being dominant, sexy, feminine, how much you want to go to this class or anything else. We will pick a winner on Saturday afternoon.

Midori: The Art of Feminine Dominance, Level 1
Sunday, February 05, 7:30PM, $35
Elegance, power and confidence…learn an effective style of dominance that is authentic to you. Using her own special technique, Midori will help you to unleash your power femme, allowing you to pursue erotic fulfillment and sensual play. She will discuss psychology, politics, practical exercises, techniques, fashion and more. Novice and experienced dommes will pick up something. Open to all genders and orientations. Partners are welcome to attend.

This class is held in the Seattle Store.

We teamed up with our friends at Lelo to giveaway one of our best gift baskets yet- $1,200 worth of Lelo toys to two lucky, lucky winners.  The gift baskets include the new SenseMotion controlled vibrators, the Tiani and Oden, the Flickering Touch Massage Candle, Boa Restraints, and the Intima Blindfold. We’ll supply you with twelve good reasons to stay in bed!

Get your name in the drawing when you sign up for a Babeland email newsletter. You’ll receive updates about new toys, sex tips and special discounts in the newsletter and get a chance to win one of these fabulous prizes. If you’re already a newsletter subscriber, don’t worry, you’re already eligible to win. If not, sign up here and good luck!