Last week, Vice President Dick Cheney openly acknowledged that he had a dyke for a daughter. Apparently blood sometimes runs thicker than politics, because I’m guessing that’s what led Dick to diverge from the anti-gay-marriage Republican party line and state that “people ought to be free to enter into any kind of relationship they want to.” Yeah, there’s just something about being related to, knowing, or coming into any kind of contact with a gay person that makes you realize how homophobic, ridiculous, and moralistic anti-gay folks really are! But Cheney’s solution to the gay marriage debate was to leave it up to the states to decide, which doesn’t really do much to further the cause. Can you imagine if we were in the middle of the civil rights movement and the government decided to leave the question of the right to vote up to the states? I’m guessing there would still be states where you couldn’t vote if you were black.

But I applaud the vice president for stirring things up for his party, and so close to the Republican Convention. He’s being honest at least. He’s got a daughter whom he clearly loves, supports and wants to be happy, and is living proof that “family values” come in all shades. So I’m bestowing on our vice president his very own Commando harness, for taking on his commander in chief on this issue and being right on the money in support of his daughter.

Is it just me, or is anyone else in the world experiencing the Olympics as most enjoyable softcore porn? Those swimmers’ trunks cut so low you see the hint of butt crack; track uniforms revealing more six packs than you’d see at a tailgater; skin-tight, hip-hugging bikinis on beach volleyball players…I get hot just writing about it. And of course when I think about what it must’ve been like to watch the athletes in ancient Athens perform in the nude, slathered in olive oil…well, excuse me while I go take care of some urgent business!
There was some eye-brow raising over a few female athletes who posed semi-naked for a men’s magazine. I gotta say I don’t care all that much. Sure, it’s sad that we can’t just appreciate the inherent eroticism of these athletes at the peak of their careers, performing in their natural element. And sure it’s sad that we default to these stereotypical notions of what is sexy to men (the women were posed in traditional porn poses with a bit more clothing than you’d typically see). But that said, they were hot! And they expressed a self-confidence and sexual agency you don’t see much from female athletes. On top of that it was a marketing coup: you can bet Amanda Beard and her fellow posers were watched a lot more closely that some of their co-competitors!

I was tickled by the latest celebrity gossip: during an interview a reporter asked pop diva Britney Spears what the last thing she had in her mouth was, and can you guess her reply? A dildo! Now, it makes sense to me that this young woman is coming into her own sexually. I was not surprised when she wrote a tribute song to yours truly (about masturbation) called “A Touch of My Hand.” I’m not surprised the diva digs oral sex. But going down on a dildo! Makes me wonder if she’s checked out our very own How to Suck Strap On Cock?! You go girl. Come see us any time. We’ll give you a sweet treat known as the Siren…our pick for a singing siren such as yourself!