Gay marriage is a no brainer. People will choose whomever they want to be their family. Homos should enjoy public celebration just like straight folks, not to mention get important rights like hospital visitation, death benefits and the like. Being against Gay Marriage is like being against love. Conservatives may say it’s bad for children, but it isn’t. For $2.95 you can download this moving article, For Children of Gays, Marriage Brings Joy, from the March 19 New York Times. Have your Kleenex ready!

Some queer folks argue that fighting for marriage rights is an assimilationist move by the gay mainstream. And it is. Being gay or lesbian doesn’t make people radical, just like being straight doesn’t make them conformist. Some gays just want to have a cozy home with their mate, love and support from family and friends, and the 1,049 civil benefits that that married folks get. Those who want to smash the imperial hetero-patriarchy can still pursue that goal. And those who aspire to picket fence romance can have that. And those who want both some smashing and some sentimentality, will create their own unique marriages, just like many straight couples do.
Did it strike anyone else as ironic that in the same week that 4,000 gay marriages in SF were annulled, the governor from New Jersey resigned because of a homosexual affair? If gay marriage was status quo, this politician might have been in one, rather than in a sham hetero marriage. If we weren’t so concerned about regulating what goes on in people’s bedrooms, our politicians might have more time to spend doing what they were elected to do.
So this Vulva says live and let live, in whatever way you define domestic bliss. As for me, I’m going to take a peek at We Do, the new photo book documenting gay weddings, and raise a toast to all those who’ve tied the knot!

Babeland fave, Tristan Taormino hosted a screening of Spike Lee’s new flick “She Hate Me,” the other night. Tristan was the lesbian advisor for the film, an unlikely farce about a healthy, intelligent, and good looking man who falls upon hard economic times, so resorts to inseminating lesbians who want to get pregnant. Given the number of dykes this Vulva knows who want to, or have gotten pregnant through donor insemination, I thought the movie had some potential.

Well, Spike, I think you ought to stick to matters closer to home. The movie was a big, fat bust. The dykes were totally unreal. If you think the lesbians in the “L Word” seem superficial and one-dimensional, multiply that by 10 and you get Spike’s spin on gay girls. We’re talking straight men’s fantasy material, except for the butches, who simply got played for laughs. The lesbians of color at the screening I went to were almost universally excited to see themselves represented on screen, only to be bitterly disappointed by the cartoonish treatment of the characters. The one Asian woman was totally exoticized, to the point of eating chicken feet in bed to help create a son. Give me a break!

And what about the sex? Imagine 18 lesbians in one movie, and we get to see them all have sex with a man. The two lesbian sex scenes were shot through gauze and pan quickly away, while the hetero fucking is lovingly lit and lingered over. There aren’t any other lesbian-themed movies full of women of color with a budget this size, so this could have been incredible. Still, it’s nice to see the representation, shortcomings aside. I know Tristan’s input saved it from being even worse: Spike wanted to end it with the guy in a three way relationship with the main dyke couple.

So readers, I came away deflated and disillusioned, not a happy state for a giant pussy. People, I beg of you: please go to film school and start making some sexy movies with interesting characters and storylines! Movies that expand our minds and hearts and clits. In the meantime, I’d rather cue up some porn. If you’re with me and aren’t sure where to start, check out the Woman’s Guide to Good Porn.

It’s a sad day for my sisters and brothers in Alabama. A U.S. Court of Appeals there just upheld the constitutionality of a law banning the sale of sex toys. This decision may seem like a manifestation of anti-sex Puritanism in our culture, which it is, but it also has especially anti-woman effects.

Why does this law weigh more heavily on women than on men? Because vibrators bring a huge percentage of women to orgasm more often and more reliably than anything else, that’s why. So many of my sisters never knew how an orgasm felt until they experienced that strong, consistent stimulation. My guy friends all have similar tales of learning how to come – their hormones started pumping, their minds got going, they touched themselves and soon enough they all had their first big O. Sex toys may take those climaxes to a higher level, but guys usually have the basics without the help of a toy.

It may be mostly men who shop for toys in Alabama, but I’ll bet it’s the women who get most out of the vibes they bring home. It’s a terrible day for women in Alabama, but in a sex-phobic culture, we all lose.

On a more positive note, however, the Texas mom who was busted in a sting operation in Texas for selling toys through Pleasure Parties, had the charges against her dropped. The court decided it was a waste of its resources to prosecute. How refreshing! I’m guessing many of those associated with this notorious case are at home right now getting pretty resourceful with their Hitachis, Rabbit Habits, and Finger Funs!