I’m not much of a celebrity gossip hound. On the whole I couldn’t care less about, you know, what brand of diapers Julia Roberts uses on her babies or who the new recipient of Brad Pitt’s beard burn is, or which reality show contestant got a rose from The Donald or whatever (and when did ”reality” show contestants start to get coverage in the media, anyway? Wasn’t the point originally that these shows were about regular (ie not on the cover of People magazine) folks?). All I care about in actors is their work, not their damn shoe size or dishwasher. They can sleep with whomever they wish and keep it to themselves, thank you very much.

That said, I came across a rather cool bit of celebrity-related news yesterday that I just have to mention. A newspaper article was brought to my attention about mega-superstar Hollywood couple Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith in which (and I really hope this is true and not fabricated) the pair disclosed that they have an open marriage!

I know, “open marriage” is a loaded term for many people, along the lines of how some think “bisexual” is code for “actually gay” or “just confused.” How can, some wonder, a devoted, connected couple have sex with other people without their relationship dissolving into a wreck of deceit and jealousy?

Well, it’s certainly not for everyone, but non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships, with strong communication and agreed-upon boundaries are successful for lots of couples. (Some couples make rules or write contracts detailing what’s acceptable and expected: are any acts off-limits? Is group sex or individual encounters acceptable? Can new friends spend the night?). They certainly take lots of checking in, honesty, and dealing with those feelings of jealousy, but for many the benefits of maintaining a deeply-connected, functional primary relationship while being available to new, rewarding sexual experiences is completely worth the work.

If you’re curious about the ins and outs of non-monogamy? Check out the fantastic book The Ethical Slut. In the meantime, way to go Mr. and Mrs. Smith!

Do you remember that talking Barbie from the early 1990’s that said, “Math class is tough!”? Do you remember the scandal that ensued? Poor Barbie got raked through the coals for allegedly perpetrating the stereotype that females are naturally unskilled in math and science.

Who would have thought our favorite fashion doll would ever have anything in common with the president of Harvard University? A couple of weeks ago, Harvard president Larry Summers hypothesized that the lack of women in science and math-related fields could be due to “innate sex differences” between men and women. He has since been roasted, a la Barbie’s treatment last decade, by publications all around the country for adding further fuel to the idea that females either are physiologically unable to comprehend mathematical concepts or are, like, too busy thinking about shoes to do so.

The women/math debate has been going on for ages, with the same nature (does a Y chromosome make it easier to find the sum of Y?) versus nurture (are girls discouraged from excelling in school, or at least being proud of getting good science grades?) speculations applied to any number of battles between the sexes. I will always be suspect of “evidence” of supposed female math/science “sex differences;” I know plenty of women who have high-profile science-field jobs, or can recite pi to the hundredth digit. I also know guys who can barely do long division.

Our job is to not explain away difference but to offer equal opportunity. To strip away the challenges and obstacles that prevent girls from being all they can be in the areas of science, math and, heck, let’s add sports while we’re at it (anybody noticed the recent attemps to erode Title IX recently?)! And let’s look to ourselves, and the messages we reinforce and the roll models we hold in esteem. Maybe there should have been a Barbie that said “Trigonometry is rad!”, and a Ken doll that said math is tough for him, too. That would even the equation. Get it, equation? Little math joke.

Help a girl become a geek! Check out sites like these that help girls realize their full potential in the areas of math and science.

• Expanding Your Horizons
• Girltech.com
• Education World
• Increasing Science Opportunities for Girls

“Valentine’s Day.” Those loaded words elicit a range of responses in those who hear them, ranging from nausea to lightheadedness (the good kind). My reaction is closer to the latter, regardless of current relationship status, mainly because it allows me to eat so much chocolate I nearly go comatose. Some folks curse it for being created by greeting card companies; others consider the day a blessed occasion to celebrate their dear ones, be them lovers, friends or family. The lucky ones get to use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to be showered with gifts and have sex all day.

Speaking of being showered with gifts.. while I do adore a good Whitman’s Sampler, and dark-chocolate-dipped strawberries are sensual and divine, I’d go crazy for something like the Paradise Found kit: with a Finger Fun Vibe, Nubby G, Diamond Ring vibrating cock ring and Babeland Lube, it has everything you need for a night in (together or alone!). Instead of a bouquet of long-stemmed roses, I’d much rather get an Audi-oh vibe, which vibrates in time to musical or voice input. I’d rock with that while out dancing, and it would rock me right back.

Yeah, I like Valentine’s Day. And whether I’ve got a loved one in tow, or I’m just loving  myself, I always manage to celebrate!