The World Cup is upon us and although this event isn’t as big for Americans as the Olympics or the Superbowl, it’s a major event around the world. And how are people celebrating? With sex toys.

A German sex toy store has come out with a line of vibrators named after famous World Cup stars. Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn of Germany and David Beckham all have namesakes. The trick is that the company uses the first name and last initial (Michael K. for example) so they don’t have to pay royalties. Unfortunately, those athletes aren’t so psyched about having their name attached to a six and a half inch dildo and have filed injuctions. For now, the retailer has pulled the dildos off the shelves.
At Babeland, we’ve always named our dildos. You could say that Bogart, Bond, and Brando aren’t named for anyone in particular - but how many of us haven’t wanted to spend a night with at least one of those guys? Movie stars or soccer players, naming dildos makes them fun and playful. And in this case, helps them sell.

The German retailer is also selling a tiny soccer ball-shaped vibrator and panties that come in country colors.

This is just the first example of what will probably become a growing trend. Sports merchandise sells. Sex sells. Put them together? Big bucks. If the trend made its way over to the United States, we could have Derek Jeter dildos and vibrators shaped like footballs. Sports are quite sexual (shotput, javelin throw, breast-stroke…). It’s a natural pairing.

If you answered “tomatoes grown in a hothouse,” you are no doubt a vibrator-loving gardener. Because I learned recently that tomato plants grown in a hot house need a little help with the self-pollination process, and a quick buzz with a vibrator on a regular basis will do the trick (and as I write this I’m laughing that for once I’m NOT writing a euphemism for female masturbation).

Yup, imagine my surprise, being a new hothouse owner, to discover the secret to my barren tomato plants was living in my bedside table. So friends, I asked my daughter and her friend to snap my picture using the handy Babelight vibrator on my beloved plants–after all it is a keychain, flashlight, and vibrator all rolled into one–why not add plant-masturbator to the list? 

And with that, I file this entry away in the “helpful things you can do with a vibrator.” What else lives in that file? Well, if you’re a nursing mom and you’ve had to endure the pain of a clogged duct, massaging it with a Pocket Rocket can loosen it up and get the milk flowing again. And when I first started selling vibrators for a living, one of our biggest customers was the local children’s hospital, who tucked little vibrators into fussy babies’ cribs at night–the low hum helped them sleep. Now of course you can buy a “crib vibrator” for big bucks. 

If you have made any exciting discoveries along these lines, I’d love to hear them! 

Have you ever wanted to be able to design your own sex toy? Maybe you’ve always wanted a toy that could hit that one specifiic spot but you’ve never been able to find it? Well, here is your chance. Babeland is extending it’s toy design contest so get your submissions in.

The deadline is extended until June 14th. In those two weeks, you could design your very own dildo, butt plug, or vibrator. If Tristan Taormino did it, why can’t you (pictured)? Oh the possibilities.

We’re going to have in-store judging at our L.A. location on July 11 so even if you didn’t design a toy, you can come down and see who wins. It’ll be like a chili cook-off, but with orgasms instead of beans. Good times.