Unless you live in Arizona, you may have missed the press release  about a restaurant chain named Pink Taco making a play to have the Cardinals Stadium renamed the Pink Taco Stadium (for a cool 30 million). The corporate takeover of stadium names may come as no surprise to those who live near one (SF’s beloved Candlestick Park and our baseball stadium get renamed so often no one can keep up).

But the kicker in this particular biz-meets-ball discussion is that Pink Taco is a slang term for vulva. Sadly, the Cardinals, who own the naming rights for the stadium, are not playing ball on this one. Apparently, those all American football players and their media reps don’t want to scratch their balls and pat each other’s asses in a giant vulva.

Too bad, I say. If the money is as good as some faceless corporation’s, I’d take the color and sexiness of a Pink Taco Stadium anyday. They’d get an endless amount of publicity, some killer Mexican food to go with their beers, and a fair number of horny fans at their games. They could even start a trend–just think of the possibilities for other stadiums: Spank The Monkey Stadium, Tiptoe Through the Tulips Stadium, Bashing the Pope Stadium (ok, maybe that one wouldn’t fly)…

If this post has made you curious about other euphemisms for masturbation check out the hers and his (who knows, maybe it’ll inspire you to open a restaurant).