Okay, who went home and masturbated after Babeland’s premiere event at the Parkway last Thursday? I know I did. I didn’t even have my Hitachi Magic Wand with me’ and I still masturbated. I practically never masturbate without my Hitachi, but after such a sexy event I was wet and ready. I couldn’t go to sleep without an orgasm.

Babeland’s screening of The Opening of Misty Beethoven was everything I expected it to be and more. After paying the mere $6.00 fee at the door of the Parkway Theater in Oakland, CA I was greeted in the lobby by the brightly colored swag on the Babeland table. They had pens, catalogs, stickers, and coupons available. The best part was that the table was “manned” by hot Babeland babes in 70s garb. There was a cute guy and two beautiful women. One was tall and statuesque while the other was thick and voluptuous. Babeland always has something for everyone. I was a little late to the event, so I missed the costume contest but I was in time to enter the raffle and schmooze with the Babeland babes for a couple of minutes.

I have to admit that despite the hotties, I was eager to move on. I was filled with anticipation as this was going to be my first experience watching porn on the big screen. I was titillated by the idea of watching porn on a huge screen in a theater full of people. As I walked into Theater 1, the movie was already starting. I found a seat somewhere in the back, and settled in to watch the 1970s classic, The Opening of Misty Beethoven.

I had a really great time at the movie. It was truly fun, entertaining, and a turn-on. There were times when I was so into the movie that I forgot there were people around me. There were other times, though, when I really felt like I was one with the crowd. Suddenly we were all really there together, watching this movie as a unit and not just individuals. I really felt at one with my fellow moviegoers when we reacted as a group to some of the movie’s highlights. When we were all ooohing and aaahing together, I really felt connected to everyone there.

Some of the most crowd-pleasing moments were when Seymour Love was constantly getting head no matter what he was doing. His maids literally took shifts sucking him off. We all laughed at that. At the pinnacle of Misty’s (yes, we are on a first name basis now) sex education when she performed a successful blowjob and two hand jobs at the same time, we all clapped. Soon after that, at a very poignant moment, we all joined in a big “awww” as Misty cried to herself on the screen. There was lots of cheering when we all found out that Lawrence Layman’s wife, Barbara was not only not going to be left out of sex with the new Goldenrod Girl, but that she was in fact going to get Misty first. You go girl! The biggest applause of the night though, was when cheers rang out for Misty strapping on to take Layman.

All in all it was a great movie and the event was fabulous. It made for a really fun Thursday night out. I can’t wait for the next Babeland event at the Parkway. See you there!

Planned Parenthood just opened a new clinic in Aurora, IL. They faced massive amounts of opposition from anti-choicers there and it was a real struggle to get the clinic to open. Now that are finally ready, the anti-choice contingent is camped out in the parking lot of a closed down Safeway. Apparently the company has given them permission to be there. According to what I’ve read they’re taking photographs of license plates parked in the clinic’s lot and of people who enter and leave the clinic. They may have a right to voice their opposition, but they do not have a right to invade the privacy of people who are choosing legal medical care.

Please call Safeway and tell them you do not support this. As a private company they can throw these bastards off of their land.

925-467-3000 (Pleasanton Office)Monday to Friday 9 a.m. to 9 p.m, Local Time
Saturday and Sunday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Local Time

The Dominick’s/Safeway store in question is at 3025 E. New York St, Aurora, Ill. 60504.

Thanks, Feministing, for alerting me to this.

I’ll confess that I spend a small portion of every Sunday drooling over the luxury condo ads in the New York Times Magazine. Although I would never be able to afford to live in those buildings and would probably hate nearly everyone once I moved in, there’s still something about sweeping views, floor-to-ceiling windows and sub zero fridges that just turns me on a little bit. It’s real estate porn.

I think photographs of actual apartments are sexy enough which is why I was more than shocked to see this ad staring up at me from the most recent issue of Time Out New York (thanks, Gawker). Having a beautiful woman sitting on a couch in an apartment is one thing - sex sells and I’m used to that by now but sometimes people go to far. Insinuating that your hot pad will get her to spread her legs in such an overt manner was just too much for me to handle. Plus, as pretty as I’m sure she is (I can only see her leg…) that view of Manhattan in the background is amazing! Look at that, sexy dude with your shirt halfway off!
Also, as Copyranter points out, why does he look so weirdly bored?