The Daily News gossip page is gushing with the news that Britney Spears has a “fantasy room”. This bit of information is given around four paragraphs and mentioned at the bottom is one more thing: she might be pregnant again. What I don’t understand is, how is that not the most important news? Is having another baby a good thing for a woman who has lost custody of the two children she already has? Who cares! She has a lot of sex toys… ooooh.

And what fills this “fantasy room”? “Ticklers, whips and fur-trimmed handcuffs hanging from the metal bedframe”. She also has some outfits (Cinderella and a Catholic Schoolgirl) and some spanking paddles. This just sounds like someone who knows what she likes and has the money to outfit an entire room with it. Since I’m a poor New Yorker, I have to keep all of my toys in a drawer. Certainly, her tastes are not “vanilla” but handcuffs and spanking are pretty standard kinks practiced by couples all over the world. Also, the picture in this post is the picture used by the Daily News. I don’t think they could make their point any more clear. Owning sex toys = slutty.
This sensationalized expose ignores the true news (a troubled mom is pregnant again) to focus on the “taboo” - sex toys. Gossip columns love to do this - as if celebrities are somehow different from the rest of us and don’t need vibrators, strap-ons, sex pillows or blindfolds and studded collars. What people deserve is the kind of reporting that does not call them out as “freaks” for owning sex toys. At Babeland we let celebrities shop in peace and quiet and we don’t go shouting about it afterwards. We’ve come along way, but we still have so far to go.

Tristan Taormino recently went to the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality conference. Besides the fact that there were some evening activities that sounded like a lot of fun, Tristan made some recommendations for further areas of research and I have to say that I couldn’t agree more:

1. Female Ejaculation. We still have very little scientific information about female ejaculation—most of what we know is based on anecdotal evidence. We need some heavy-hitting studies to prove wrong all the people who still insist that “women are just peeing.”

2. Sex-Toy Use. In his talk about the history of sex-toy stores in North America, Cory Silverberg from Come As You Are, a sex-positive shop in Toronto (comeasyouare.com), pointed out that no research has been done on people who buy sex toys, how they use them, and how the toys affect their sex lives and attitudes about sexuality. Silverberg sounded an unabashedly activist note when he called on sex researchers to pay attention to current trends; sadly, there were only a dozen people in the room.

3. BDSM. There were a handful of papers on BDSM, but I’d like to see lots more, particularly a study on the intersection between people who do BDSM and their perceptions and attitudes about body image. In my experience, people in BDSM communities appear to be more comfortable with nudity and diverse body sizes; I’d love to see if this hypothesis holds up with research.

4. Female Porn Viewers. There were only two papers on porn at this conference, but that’s pretty representative of the lack of information we have about porn consumption. We know especially little about how women react to different kinds of porn and what they want to see in porn. And not just college students. I get it—college students are a convenient pool of research subjects because they’re in the professor’s backyard—but there seemed to be far too many studies of college students.

5. Sex-Toy Safety. We don’t have enough information about sex-toy materials, like the safety or toxicity of those made with phthalates (which I reported on in my February column, “Dangerous Dildos,” part one and two.). My suggestion: Why not study a population of people that has extensive “exposure” to these toys—i.e., porn stars?

I’m especially interested in #4 because I am trying to write a paper about women and porn and I’m having a hard time finding any new porn-positive research out there. Most of it is either about the negative effects of porn or it’s about how women do not watch porn which I know for a fact is not true considering how many women I’ve sold porn to over the years.

So, I’m conducting an informal survey. If you identify as female and would like to take a few minutes, please answer the following questions in the comments:

1. When do you first remember watching porn?

2. How did you feel the first time you watched it?

3. Do you view porn regularly?

4. What do you like to see in porn?

5. What is your favorite film?

6. Have you ever purchased porn?

Thanks!

The holiday shopping season has begun. With sales everywhere, it’s been difficult to resist shopping for myself when I know I need to begin shopping for everyone else on my list. If you’re stumped over what to get your loved one, Babeland has some great holiday kits to help you out.

Why are kits so great?

• They’re the complete package: we give you everything you’ll need right down to the batteries, included in the box.
• The toys in them are fantastic: you can get Rabbits, Layas, even the Form 6 in a kit
• They look gorgeous: our packaging is a beautiful box with a ribbon and lots of tissue paper. I love wrapping gifts at Babeland
• They’re a good deal: you always save money with a gift kit.

Here are some of my favorite gift kits this year:

Sexy Getaway (pictured, left): It’s amazing that so much awesomeness fits into such a tiny box. This kit comes with a massage candle, a small vibrator, lickable oil and a cock-ring. Plus, you get an adorable box to keep your toys (or something else) in. It’s a small box, but it’s a sexy one.

Bunny Love: If you’re looking for the Rabbit, you’ve found it. This is a great gift to get that special Sex in the City fan you’re dating. It comes not only with the highest quality Rabbit vibrator there is, but also with Babeland Lube, condoms, batteries and toy cleaner. It’s everything she’ll need to get her through the holidays.

Come Together (pictured top): Some people say that sex toys are only for single people. I say that’s ridiculous, and the come together kit proves it. There are toys for him and her along with massage oil, lube and of course, batteries. It’s everything you need for a wild night. Or three.

Check out our other gift kits here.