Inspired by the upcoming Sexy Mama events at our stores in celebration of Mother’s Day, we’re banding together our favorite Sexy Mama bloggers to write about their sex-positive parenting experiences through the month of May.  Each week has a new theme and new spin from each writer.

Sex Positive Families — what does it mean, and how do you create this in a rather sex-negative culture? How do you model being a sex-positive mom?

Sex positive parenting is a method of raising children so that they are not ashamed or uncomfortable with their others or their own sexuality. It teaches acceptance and openness to all people. I feel that this takes many shapes, for me it means exposing my children to many forms of sexuality and gender from an early age, being comfortable with my body in front of them (no matter how I really feel about it), projecting a positive body image helps them and I to believe that the female form is beautiful regardless of what advertisements tell us.

I try to be open and honest with my son but, there are so many stories of adults seeking therapy because their parents were too open with them as children. This leads me to often wonder to myself if whether I am doing more harm then good. What is a healthy balance of sexuality with a small child? My son is five years old and will be going into first grade this fall. He comes home and tells me proudly about he and his friends showing off their penises in the bathroom or that he was talking about sex with his friend (don’t worry mom, the teacher didn’t hear), and all I can respond with is, “That behavior is not really appropriate at school. What if another child’s parent doesn’t want them talking about sex? Our society tends to be frightened of children’s sexuality, even though it is harmless.” He knows that at home he can have that freedom to show off his penis and ask about sex, but talking about it with mom isn’t really as cool as bragging to the kids at school.

Not to mention that he is an inquisitive little gent and these answers often lead into more questions. I try to answer them, but feel like I am blaming society. Not to say that our society is innocent, but there is a level of responsibility that needs to be taken on by me. I know that as a parent all I want is for my son to grow up and be proud of whoever he is and to know that no matter what I will be proud and supportive as well.

Then society comes in and hands us all a dose of reality. I know that he will have struggles, he already does. He battles the other kids picking on him because he likes to wear suits and ties to school, and sometimes wears hello kitty socks. This is normal to him, but to the other kids he is weird. I have to just remind him that as long as he is happy with how he looks and is proud of who he is it doesn’t matter what the other kids think. Deep down, though, I remember how it felt to want that acceptance, and I lost a part of me that I struggle to get back.

This is supposed to be about modeling sex positivity, and to me that is based largely on the ability to look in the mirror everyday and say I like what I see and it doesn’t matter who or what the magazine stands say. The best way I can help my son reach this goal is to help him feel that positive with himself, and to understand and celebrate the many different people that make up our society.

The Wisconsin Badger-Herald reports that a group of law students at the University of Wisconsin Law School tried to bring a sex-positive sex toy party to campus. From what I understand, not only were they going to talk about sex toys and sexual health and pleasure but they were also going to talk about state laws concerning sex toys. You know, law student stuff.

It turns out that Wisconsin Law School has a policy against student groups “selling, promoting or endorsing commercial products”. Using this policy as justification, the dean of the school, Dean Walter Dickey (yes, Dickey, really) canceled the event just hours beforehand. When informed by the students that their event contained no selling, promoting or endorsing of commercial products, just talking generally about sex toys, he refused to let it continue saying, according to students, that there would be no sex toys on the law school campus. In a particularly Dick(ey)’ish move, the dean informed the students about the cancelation by posting a note on the door of the room where the event was supposed to be that said “The event that was scheduled in this room at 3 p.m. is canceled. — Walter Dickey.” It is just me or is that just about as awful as breaking up with someone via text message?

A First Amendment attorney and a professor at Barry University School of Law thinks using this policy was a cover up and that the real problem was the posters. Whether it was Dean Dickey who was offended by the very cute posters (pictured) or even just one other student, it’s ironic that a law school would be prohibiting free speech in such a way - you’d think they would know their first amendment law better than anyone.

What it really all seems to boil down to is a fear of talking about sex or even being part of an institution that supports others talking about sex. This isn’t the first time students have had trouble bringing sex positive educators to campus. The administrators always use policies and other excuses but really, they’re uncomfortable and they won’t (or can’t) see the importance of these topics in people’s lives and so they assume that it must be an extravagance that students don’t really need. Considering the fact that they’re in an academic environment where most students could benefit from a few more orgasms to relieve stress and get through finals, I think it should be part of the student wellness programs. Maybe one day we’ll get there but until people can learn to be more comfortable talking about sex openly (or even seeing a poster with a dildo on it), we’ll never get there. I hope the students at Wisconsin eventually get to hold their event but I can promise Dean Dickey that it won’t be as bad as he thinks it will be. Maybe he should attend - he might learn something new.