My sweetie had been asking after my birthday wishes for some time. I’m terrible with requesting gifts, so I hemmed and hawed for an eternity. When the day grew near, I succumbed to desire and submitted my request: food. It was no less than glorious. We supped upon venison terrine, halibut over braised pork belly and a cunning English pea puree, rhubarb cake drizzled with crème Anglaise, and several glasses pinot noir. Afterwards, we settled into a stupor-like afterglow that was not unlike… really good sex.

Food and sex have gone hand-in-hand for quite some time. Think of a briny raw oyster sipped from the half shell, a flute of champagne garnished with a single raspberry, an egg poached in white truffle oil and served over tender asparagus; or picture licking a rivulet of sauce béarnaise from an extended finger or a drizzle of fine dark chocolate from an erect nipple.

Do you feel flames licking at your loins? If so, you are not alone. Artists have been celebrating the edible/sensual for years: films like Tampopo or Delicatessen simply sing the gastro-erotic; fetishists revel in sploshing themselves with cans of baked beans and frosted cakes; the culinary competitors of television’s Top Chef have created erotic delicacies for a private party at Mrs. S Leather; and even the subtlest of sensualists will take their honey out for a fine meal, or cook a romantic dinner from scratch in their own abode.

After the obvious aphrodisiac properties of food, we also find the practical applications. Consumption of water (or fresh fruit juices) cleanses the system and primes the body for a juicy roll in the hay. Fish rich in omega-3 fatty acids (like wild-caught salmon) and fish oil release dopamine (a neurotrasmitter and hormone) that ups the ante on both your mood and feel-good factor. Interest piqued? The Orgasmic Diet touts the grandeur of fish, dark chocolate, and other dietary devices that will improve female-bodied sexual health, while urologychannel.com fills us in on a diet for male-bodied erectile health.

As for other practical applications of food, what you put into your mouth effects the flavor of your pussy or cum. Think about it this way: after drinking a pot of strong coffee, or eating a spicy Indian curry, or devouring a plateful of asparagus, you will notice that your pee smells much more pungent. The same goes for the genitals and ejaculate in both male- and female-bodied folks! If you’re looking to rid yourself of the pungent taste, take a day to avoid foods like red meat, asparagus, spicy dishes, coffee, dairy, and chocolate (e.g. all the fun stuff). Flush your urogenital tract by enjoying plenty of water, and start sweetening up by enjoying fresh fruit and fruit juices (especially plums, pineapple, or other citrus), munching on fresh celery, or enjoying soothing chamomile or spearmint teas. Experiment with your sweetening intake, and you should notice results after about two days.

Whether as courtship tool, aphrodisiac, dietary tool, or flat-out fetish, the food and sex pairing is match made in heaven (or in the boudoir, a public bathroom, the kitchen floor); as for myself, I think I’ll be munching on some fresh pineapple in anticipation of sweet and saucy times to come.

I was supposed to teach a workshop on male anal penetration last night but it was canceled due to poor ticket sales. Needless to say I’m sad, because we worked really hard on it and I was really excited to teach it.

I did get a chance to talk about it a little bit when I was teaching a private workshop recently and during a conversation about anal sex where women are the receivers, I mentioned that if someone was having trouble getting their partner to understand just how slowly they need to take the anal play, that they could always switch it up and offer to penetrate their partner.

This was met with giggles and cheers but also this statement: “That’s just nasty. If I was with a guy and he wanted me to do that, I would tell him to get off of me because that means he’s gay”.

I was really glad that this came up because it’s something that a lot of people believe. We have a habit of really compartmentalizing sexuality into certain things that only certain people do. It’s hard for many people to understand how lesbians have sex because they can’t imagine anything beyond penis-vagina. Likewise, anal sex is paired with gay men even though there are a great many gay men who do not enjoy having their asses played with or even playing with other people’s asses. Meanwhile, there are plenty of non-gay men who thoroughly enjoy having their asses played with.

I love talking about male-anal penetration because it helps get us out of that compartmentalizing. There’s a wonderful inventiveness, exploration, role reversal and many other things that can come from a little anal play with a boyfriend, if you’re both into it of course.