In case you missed it, there was one less patriot enjoying the fireworks this Fourth of July: Senator Jesse Helms passed away at the ripe old age of 86.

Plenty of my friends are not mourning this loss; after all, the Senator was staunchly opposed to issues affecting people of color, women, queers, and artists (not to mention the people themselves). As a feminist artist and former AIDS activist, I too know the devastating affects of his 52-year political reign. Times weren’t pretty when Senator Helms’s voice was heard loud and clear.

I’d also like to point out that I’m not celebrating the good Senator’s death; rather, I’d like to think that he was surrounded by his friends, family, and loved ones when his heart took its last intake of blood. I smile when I imagine his loving wife, Dot, smoothing his hair and planting one last kiss upon his wrinkled brow. After all, there are so many folks who weren’t afforded such kindnesses when they passed from AIDS…

And I’d hate to have another person die scared, in pain, and alone.

Many folks are also hoping that the Senator has a one-way ticket to h-e- double hockey sticks. Again, this isn’t the case for me: I imagine heaven to be a place full of my loved ones. In my vision of heaven, the rockin’ people of color, queers, feminists, sex-positive revolutionaries, and/or artists are all there and accounted for. I also hope that Senator Helms has found himself in heaven, and is learning to love them fully and splendidly in a way that his time on earth did not allow.

Rest in peace, Jesse.

Thank you Jennifer for pointing out the article in the New York Times about the vaginal spa. I couldn’t believe it when I read the post and felt that maybe a little PC muscle education was in order.

In case you haven’t heard, your PC muscles are a band of muscles in the genital area. Basically, they hold up everything – think of them as the carpet upon which the rest of your genitalia rest. If you don’t know where they are, finding them is easy. First, go to the bathroom and try to stop the flow of urine. Those are your PC muscles. If you can’t stop the flow mid-stream (at its strongest), then your PC muscles can use some exercising.

Why would you want to exercise them? Strong PC muscles can help reduce incontinence in old age, they can help you ejaculate from G-Spot stimulation, they help with labor and delivery (you know that pushing thing? That’s the PC muscles) and, most amazingly, they increase the strength of your orgasms. One of the components of an orgasm is involuntary muscle contractions. This doesn’t mean your biceps – your PC muscles contract and the stronger those contractions, the stronger the orgasm!

Congratulations, you just got all of this information for free – you don’t need to attend the vagina spa. And, because I love my blog readers so much, I’ll throw in some advice on how to exercises them at no additional cost.

First, remember that your PC muscles are just that – muscles. Treat them the way you would any other muscle in your body (I like to think of my biceps). That means, do the exercises correctly, don’t go to quickly, don’t overdo it.

Step 1: Slowly squeeze your muscles until they are as tight as possible

Step 2: Hold for one second (one-one-thousand).

Step 3: Release slowly

Step 4: Repeat 10 times (that’s your set)

Step 5: Do three sets per day

When you start to feel like this is pretty easy, increase the length of time you hold to two seconds, then three, etc. This is the easiest, cheapest and most convenient way to exercise your PC muscles. You can do these sets while watching TV or while you’re stuck in traffic.

If you want faster results, grab some Smartballs for something to squeeze around. Or, grab a Kegelcisor – basically a vaginal barbell – and treat it like it’s your gym membership.

If you’re really in a hurry you could try the vagina fitness spa but my guess is that you’ll be just fine on your own.