What DO Women Want?
Monday, January 26th, 2009
This Sunday’s New York Times Magazine featured a piece on recent research on female sexual desire conducted by what the Times describes as “post-feminist sexologists”. If you haven’t read the piece yet, I would suggest doing so before you read the rest of this post.
While I’m thrilled that the New York Times gave such a prominent place to the topic of female sexuality, there were several things that came to mind as I was reading the article that I would like to throw out there for general reflection and comment that I wished the article had addressed, or addressed more concretely.
First, much of this research is aimed at “fixing” female desire which is seen as being lower than it should be. Why? I think there are two main reasons. First, to what standard are we comparing female desire? Male desire. Men are the referent, the default as they have been for everything else throughout history. What if it’s actually the other way around and women have (in general) the right levels of desire while men are hyper-active? (Or what if neither is true and it’s all a big jumble?) We can’t even imagine this world where women’s desire is foremost because so many things would have to change for that world to exist. I therefore reject the idea of these researchers as “post-feminist”. Second, these women who are less desirous than they should be constitute fully one-third of the female population. The definition of a disorder is that it is irregular. Is something a disorder if one-third of people have it? Is blond hair a disorder? How about left-handedness?




