Today is the anniversary of Roe vs Wade. It’s the first time in eight years that I haven’t experienced this day with a twinge of panic. Instead, I breathed a sigh of relief. For awhile at least, we’re going to be ok.

This year’s Blog for Choice day topic is “what is your top pro-choice hope for the Obama administration?”. My top hope is for healthcare coverage for all that includes abortion services. Right now, only select insurance providers cover abortions; most do not. Women who have Medicare can’t get funding because the Hyde amendment forbids it. So, even if we converted tomorrow to a government-run, single payer healthcare system, women would still have to pay at least $400 for an abortion. Roe v Wade might have made abortion legal, but when you can’t afford one, it might as well not be.

I’m also hoping that Obama will repeal the conscience clause regulations that Bush instated before he left office. They are truly heinous (for a fabulous commentary on this from a physician, check out White Coat Underground). Doctors serve patients and take an oath to do what is in the patient’s best interest, not what their particular belief system tells them.

What is your top pro-choice hope for the Obama adminstration?

How long must we continue to have the conversation about how threatening vibrators are for people’s partners? Let me put it this way: people do all sorts of things that sex toys can’t do like caress, nibble, tease, talk dirty, surprise, be attractive, make noises, etc. while sex toys can do a few things that people can’t do (be incredibly firm, vibrate). Sometimes someone needs one of the qualities that just happens to belong to a sex toy.

Anyway, I’m getting all worked up, I’ll let Dan take it from here:

Dear Dan: I love the wife I married two years ago, but she absolutely can’t come unless she uses a vibrator on herself. She’s asked me to let her use it during sex or for me to use it on her, but I’ve refused. It’s bad enough knowing I can’t compete with that thing without having to look at it.

Let’s Insert My Prick

Now, stop being such a douchebag about this, LIMP, and go ask the wife to show you just how to hold the vibrator and just where to apply pressure so that you—YOU!—can start giving her orgasms during sex. See the vibrator as a tool, moron, not a threat. Because if being with you means going without orgasms during sex for the rest of her life—all because she was foolish enough to marry an insecure bag of slop who refuses to do what needs to be done to get her off—then your wife just might decide to be with someone else.

And now an important message for all straight guys everywhere: Some women need vibrators to get off. Why? Well, perhaps it has something to do with the fact that most of a woman’s clitoral tissues are inside her body; the exposed part of her clitoris is just the tip, comparable to the head of your penis. Now imagine if the shaft of your penis was buried inside your body, guys. You might need the help of a vibrator to get off then, too; you might need a tool that could stimulate your shaft through layers of skin and muscle and fat. We’ve been over and over this since the early 1990s, fellas, and there’s no excuse anymore for freaking out about your wife/girlfriend/mom needing a vibrator, OK?

Since the early 1990s huh Dan? If I recall correctly, that’s just about when Babeland appeared on the scene. I wonder if there’s a correlation?

In honor of the inauguration, we just had to make Michelle Obama our Babe of the Month. Clearly she’s not going to be available for an interview but that doesn’t mean we can’t spend a few minutes talking about what a rockin’ lady she is.

Michelle Obama is striking to me because, although she is married to arguably the most important man in the world right now, she is so strong in herself that her personality is still very much separate from Barack Obama’s. She is not just seen as speaking for her husband, but as a person her own agenda.

One of the things I love about Michelle Obama is that she has been involved with social change for so much of her life. While she was at Harvard Law School, she participated in protests to encourage the school to hire more minority faculty members. While at Princeton she wrote her thesis on Princeton-Educated Blacks and the Black Community, taking on this divide and the interesting challenges and questions it raised.

If I got the chance to interview Michelle Obama, I would ask her how her thesis related or informed the work that she went on to do as a VP for Community and External Affairs for Chicago Hospitals. Did her thesis also lead to her involvement with Public Allies, a not-for-profit organization which encourages young people to work on social issues through non-profit and government agencies? How does she see the role of first lady as related to these larger issues of community?

I like Michelle Obama because to me, she is an intelligent and thoughtful person working to raise a family and find her path in life. I like Michelle Obama because she is more than just the wife of the next president of the United States. Most of all, I like Michelle Obama because she’s the first first lady that I can imagine walking into Babeland.

Wait – what? How did we get from community activism to sex toys? It may seem a bit presumptuous of me, but Michelle Obama seems like the kind of person who knows that a healthy sex life is an important part of a relationship would want to get her advice (and her sex toys) from experts. As I watched her listening to Americans during the campaign, I imagined that we were standing in Babeland and I was explaining the We Vibe to her. I think she would use the same interested look and gentle head nod and then would ask me about the SaSi.

It’s possible that this may never happen (how do presidents get sex toys anyway?) but it’s always fun to imagine. Even if she never walks through our doors, Michelle Obama is definitely Babeland material.

Don’t forget about our Inauguration Sale – today and tomorrow in our stores and online.