Just when we thought we’d gotten rid of abstinence-only education, it is rearing its ugly head again, sneaking its way into the health care debate. Yesterday, Orin Hatch introduced an amendment to fund abstinence-only programs and today it narrowly passed the senate committee 12-11. President Obama has called for repealing this funding in the past and Democrats in both houses agree with him. Regardless of how you may feel about health care reform, there is no question that abstinence-only education does not work. Ten years of scientific evidence shows that – so why are we bringing it back now?

Take action now and write to your senator today at the Advocates for Youth site.

Let me start by saying I’m a big fan of Tristan Taormino.  From her Expert Guide DVD series to the spontaneous, supercharged and super-popular Chemistry series, not to mention her delectable books, she sets the bar for that sought-after combination of sex-positivity and pure heat.  And now, she’s raising the bar even higher with her latest release:  Rough Sex, starring Sasha Grey.

Now, this is a special DVD, because it explores consent and pushes the boundaries of fantasy/reality–rape fantasies and break-ins abound.  But the difference between Tristan’s work and some of the other stuff you’ll find out there is that she actually takes the time to interview her performers, explore their taboo fantasies with them, and then commit them to film.  So we, the viewers, get to see it all, from idle fantasy to actualization.  Not only is it insanely hot to watch (especially if you’re into the rough stuff), but it’s a nice model for thinking about how you might introduce fantasy and roleplay with your partner(s).

Of course, with representations of taboo and force-based fantasies, there are bound to be questions, concerns, and triggers for some viewers.  Never one to dodge a difficult question, Tristan happily gave us an interview to explain her process and perspective on this groundbreaking project.  Read on!

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By Kelly Arbor

In the normative world of gender and sexuality, many of us exist beyond the binds of polarity.  Our bodies and desires speak more than any word could holistically sum up.  Here we spend our time defining ourselves, sharing our experiences, building community, and just plain fighting for our lives.  We are hated because of how we fuck, whom we fuck, and what are genitals might be like.   Hetero-normative world, I say, thanks for the reminder.  I should be talking about and having sex AT LEAST as much as you hate on me for it.  You know… to keep the balance.   So all you snowflakes who sail the winds with me;  let’s talk about sex!

Lube Factors:  Glycerin is a sugar that can increase yeast infection and UTI.  Parabens are chemical preservatives that some folks are reactive to.  Some silicone lubes can break down some silicone toys over time; you can do a spot test on your toys, use a water based lube, or condom the toys.  Lube helps stimulate natural wetness as arousal increases; the wetter the better!

Silicone Lube + Liquid Silk (or Sliquid Silk): Vaginal dryness affects many of us.  First give a genital massage with the Silk lube; the lotion additives will help with moisturizing and provide a layer between the skin and the silicone lube, which will aid in vaginal rebalancing.  The massage (eh hem…foreplay) will also increase arousal and natural wetness.  Use the silicone lube during the sex act.  Both Liquid Silk and Sliquid Silk have a small amount of silicone lube in them which increases compatibility.

Sassy and Maximus:  Both of these lubes are thicker and great for anal play as they tend to stick around longer.  The Sassy is totally odorless and tasteless too.

Barrier Factors:  Barriers are both physical and mental.  Some of our barriers emerge through the complexity of our genders, sexualities, and desires.  We all have a responsibility to Self to tend to our wants and needs.  Empower yourself to discover and continue asking; What do I want?  What feels good?  We all develop throughout our lifetimes so things like regular masturbation can foster connection to Self.

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