Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher and teacher at The Kinsey Institute and Indiana University who started teaching sex ed to college students at IU. She has written sex columns for numerous newspapers and magazines and is frequently called on by journalists, which is how she met Grant Stoddard. Grant is an author and journalist, covering sex and lifestyles for numerous magazines, including New York, GQ and Glamour. Grant started writing about sex as a naïve intern at Nerve.com with the “I Did It For Science” column. They both have great blogs, too. Check out MySexProfessor.com, and GrantStoddard.com.

Q: One of the things I appreciated about Great in Bed is that it gives a lot of advice about handling the different situations that come with sex – from the first date to the morning after. How did you decide what to focus on? There’s so much to say about sex!

Debby: We wanted Great in Bed to be able to help a wide range of people to have fantastic sex – whether they were just starting out with someone or trying to find ways to make sex better after several months or years together. We also, of course, realize that quality sex doesn’t wait until you have your clothes off and are rolling around naked. You’ve got to meet someone first. Get things to go well. Flirt, touch, kiss, have something to say to one another. All of it matters.

Grant: I thought of practical information that I really could have used instead of learning through trial and error. And of course, I’m always striving to be better in bed (as we all should be) so I learned a lot of fascinating new information through my research and even more from Dr. Debby’s wealth of knowledge in the field. I’ve already referred to it a dozen times or more! (Not *during* the act, obviously.)

Q: There’s a message throughout the book about feeling confident. We teach sex workshops at Babeland and notice that this is the number one challenge for our customers. Why do people generally feel this lack of sexual confidence?

Debby: As a society, we don’t give people much sex education or information to go on. Most of us have a sense that we’re pretty much in the dark when it comes to sex. It takes practice, learning, exposure to ideas, a partner who smiles or moans and lets you know things are going well – all of these can build confidence.

Grant: I think it’s also because people fear judgment. We’re bombarded with information about what’s “normal” and what’s not and we may be hesitant to share what turns us on for fear of feeling judged. I remember plucking up the courage to do this particular thing I had refrained from doing for weeks — thinking I’d freak my partner out – only to find that she loved that thing, too. Through experience I’ve learned that the more that we are our true selves (in sex and in life) the happier we are. This is borne out in several studies in the book — some of which were authored by Debby herself.

Q: Valentine’s Day is coming up soon. Do you have any tips for making it memorable?

Debby: Aside from grabbing a copy of Great in Bed, turning to a random page, and trying what you find? Sure. If you’ve got a partner, talk to them about what you want it to be like. Not everyone wants to go out to dinner and have a big box of chocolates. Some people would rather stay in and watch the same movie at home that they watched in the theater on their first date with you. Some people want a threesome or a massage or to go away on a spontaneous weekend trip, even if it’s just to the next town.

Grant: Whether you’re a new couple or if you’ve been together for years, make dinner together. You get to create something together, enjoy it together, and be in each other’s company. It’s much funner than going out to eat and you can go from dessert to the bedroom in no time and bust out all the new knowledge you’ve gleaned from Great in Bed!

Q: We’re excited to host you both at Babeland on February 8th. What can people expect at the event?

Debby: We’re excited to meet everyone who’s coming out. There will be drinks and plenty of sex talk; we’ll be taking anonymous questions and interviewing each other. Of course, Babeland is known for its accessible and yet ever-entertaining array of sex toys, so we’re hoping to show people around the store, too, and come up with a few new ideas for being great in bed.

Grant: Some good advice, lively discussion, and more ideas for giving hand jobs than you ever thought possible.

Great in Bed Book Launch and Discussion, Wednesday, February 8th at Babeland SoHo, 7pm, free. Call 212-966-2120 for more information.

..........................................

This post, Interview With Great In Bed Co-Authors, Dr. Debby Herbenick and Grant Stoddard, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on February 6, 2012. Tweet This Post!

..........................................

Bedroom Talk with Kandi Burruss from the Real Housewives of Atlanta
Thursday, December 15, 7pm, Free
Babeland SoHo, 43 Mercer Street
You’ve enjoyed watching Kandi Burruss’ sassy and down-to-earth presence on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, now help us celebrate the launch of Bedroom Kandi, her elegant new line of discreet toys. Meet Kandi and hear about her inspiration for the toys, as well as her experiences on the Real Housewives of Atlanta! Bring your BFFs for a ladies night out with Kandi, including manicures by the Polish Bar of Brooklyn, cocktails, Bedroom Kandi raffle prizes and more.

Here’s what Kandi had to say when we chatted with her about the toys.

Babeland: You’ve had such an interesting career in entertainment, how did you decide to create your own line of sex toys? In some ways, it seems like, “well, of course she did!” and it also seems a bit risky. As women in this industry, we understand that vibrators and women’s sexy time are still challenging for mainstream America to handle.

Kandi: I was invited on the Dr. Laura Berman show.  She’s a medical doctor and she also has her own line of intimate products and I was like, wow, with my show, Kandi Koated Nights as a springboard, I can do the same thing.  Then I found out about this woman in Europe that became a billionaire in the adult product industry and from that point on, it was a no brainer.

Babeland: How did your family and friends react when you decided to launch a line of vibrators?

Kandi: My family and friends are always very supportive of me in everything I do. When I did my research and decided to step into this endeavor, I really wanted to make sure my mother did not think I was making the wrong move.  As long as she was fine with it, then I was comfortable doing it.

Babeland: We’re huge fans of the colors and shapes you’ve chosen. We’ve seen other lipstick vibes before, but Kandi Kisses has an unsurpassed weight, shape and quality. Why did you decide to go with the make-up design?

Kandi: The beauty of these pieces is that they’re not intimidating. They were designed to be very discreet. You can throw them in your purse and walk around with your own plaything and feel comfortable. They’re a combination of pleasure and style.

Babeland: What drew you to the unique powder-puff shape for the Make Me Over vibe? It’s a shape and design that is completely new.

Kandi: The whole idea was to create discreet packaging so that a woman can enjoy an orgasm on the go and so that if the product were mistakenly left on her dresser, no one would be alarmed! I decided to go with the make-up angle because it brought an elegant feel to the product line.

Babeland: Do you think that you’re part of destigmatizing vibrators for women? You have a high profile and many women look up to you. Have you found that launching this line is opening a new dialogue with your viewers and fans?

Kandi: I feel Bedroom Kandi will change the perception of how people view intimate products and open up the conversation, especially in the African American community. Sexual pleasure has such as huge stigma and it should not.

Babeland: What was the most fun part of designing a sex toy?

Kandi: Working on it has allowed for a healthy dialogue about sex.

Babeland: You’ve written Grammy award-winning music, so it’s no coincidence that one of your vibrators, the Happiness & Joy, vibrates to the beat and rhythm of music. What type of music sounds the best on Happiness & Joy? What’s your personal favorite song to play on this vibrator?

Kandi: Anything that you feel comfortable listening to in the bedroom works with this vibe! It does not have to be a specific type of song.  It can be very passionate songs about love, dance songs to make things fun, or heavy bass club songs to give it that extra “edge” in certain encounters with your mate. I do not know if I have a personal favorite song, maybe I have a personal play list!

Babeland: Do you have advice for women who are new to vibrators on trying a Bedroom Kandi toy for the first time?

Kandi: Yes, it’s the best fun you can have by yourself. Try it; I’m confident you will like it!

Babeland: Do you have a favorite that you like to recommend?

Kandi: My favorite piece is the Happiness & Joy dual-action vibe. It brings you happiness on the inside and joy on the outside at the same time.

..........................................

This post, Kandi Burruss Debuts New Sex Toy Line at Babeland, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on December 13, 2011. Tweet This Post!

..........................................

While this workshop is great for couples to attend together, it is also great to attend on your own, or with friends. There is so much information that we cover in this class that you will be sure to learn something new about your own sexuality, and great new tips to try on your partner.

We want to offer a special deal for the Babeland Blog readers. You can get 50% off workshop tickets when you buy them online by Friday. Just enter code “BabelandBlog” when you buy your tickets.
Want a chance to WIN tickets to class? Leave a comment below to enter. You can just leave a short hello, but we would prefer a sex tip to share with all. Maybe we will even add it to the Moregasm class this weekend!

..........................................

This post, Win tickets to the Moregasm for Couples workshop in Seattle, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on November 30, 2011. Tweet This Post!

..........................................

International Vulvanomics Flash Activism

November 19, 2011

Sponsored by The New View Campaign to Challenge the Medicalization of Women’s Sexuality (newviewcampaign.org)

Since 2008, the New View Campaign has challenged the growth of a dangerous new industry, female genital cosmetic surgery (FGCS) wherein amputations of parts of the vulva (labiaplasty and clitoral hood reduction) are marketed as “enhancement” and “beautification” procedures.  On their websites, surgeons post before and after photographs that misinform the public about genital diversity, suggesting  that all vulvas should look alike and that there is something wrong with full labia. Check some of them out for yourself here and here.

The New View Campaign (a feminist project  that began in 2000) believes that the informed consent process for these procedures must include information about the range of genital diversity. New View is speaking up and targeting surgeons who make false claims and who create self-consciousness and anxiety.

On November 19^th, add your voice to an international day of FLASH ACTIVISM. Participants will be taking and then uploading photos of themselves holding signs in front of the surgeon’s offices and sending a very specific message: we support genital diversity!

For more information about the event, how to participate, and a list of FGCS surgeons near you, please e-mail vulvanomicsactivism at gmail dot com.

Please forward and share this announcement.

..........................................

This post, National Feminist Event this Saturday!, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on November 15, 2011. Tweet This Post!

..........................................

The basic details about the contest:

Shoot a short film of 1 minute or less. Use your smartphone, camcorder, whatever, but keep it PG please! It can be about anything, but make sure that the viewer thinks, “Wow, RodeoHs are cool.”

You could win:

• $100 credit to RodeoHs.com
•  VixenCreations Tex
• $50 Gift Certificate Compliments of Babeland.com – to accessorize your new RodeoH
• $100 Cash

Finalists will be chosen on October 30th. Check out the full contest details here.

..........................................

This post, Make a Video, Be a Star, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on September 25, 2011. Tweet This Post!

..........................................

Many people unfortunately  still don’t “believe” in the G-spot, or doctors don’t think it exists. Geeze, can you imagine if people questioned the existence of the male prostate or wondered if it was pleasurable?  Nope, wouldn’t happen. The information about the G-Spot is pretty straight forward actually. You can pick up a book on the topic, google it, or read our handy how-to and find out all about it pretty easily. Some people learn best from workshops though and in our class we have 3D models, we show videos and we can answer any question on the topic for you.

The truth about the G-Spot is that everyone woman has one. Now, whether someone likes that type of stimulation is another story entirely. Women who like G-Spot stimulation generally REALLY, REALLY like it. And they want to talk about it and tell you how amazing it is and how amazing YOU will think it is too. Well, see, not everyone is going to love it the same. Imagine we were talking about nipple stimulation. Say someone told you they love having their nipples sucked hard and twisted and that it was the best thing to add to sex because they had amazing orgasms when they did that. Would you feel like you had to do that too or else you were missing out? Probably not. You might give it a try or two to see if you did like it, or you might already know your body enough to know that nipple stimulation isn’t your cup of tea. But you at least know that nipples exist and that everyone had them and that they are erogenous zones for many people. When people talk about the G-Spot being the most amazing orgasms ever, often the people that are not experiencing that feel like they don’t have a G-Spot or that it doesn’t really exist.

If you want to find out if stimulating the G-Spot can be your most amazing orgasm ever, well then you should definitely take this class.

I will be giving away 5 tickets to this weekend’s workshop here in Seattle. Comment below to enter to win. Share this on Facebook or Twitter and tag @Babeland_Sea or http://www.facebook.com/BabelandSEA to let us know you did for extra entries. We will be picking out 5 winners on Friday, September 16th so be sure to comment, Tweet and post before then.

G-Spot 101 and Female Ejaculation
Sunday, September 18, 7:30 – 9:30 PM
Expand your orgasmic potential. It’s not a myth – learn to stimulate the G-spot, and it might just give you the best orgasms of your life. We’ll show you all the right positions, techniques, and toys you’ll need to find the G-spot, give it some love, and possibly even trigger female ejaculation.

Workshop attendees get 15% off on purchases during the workshop. Singles and couples and groups of every gender and sexual orientation are invited to attend our workshops and events (18+ only).

You can buy workshop tickets here: http://gspot101.eventbrite.com/ or by calling the store at 206-328-2914

..........................................

This post, Win Tickets to The G-Spot Class (Seattle), originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on September 13, 2011. Tweet This Post!

..........................................

The Big Summer Sale is part of our Customer Appreciation Month.  During July, you can enter for a chance to win the Jimmyjane Eternity, a platinum, diamond-studded vibe valued at $3,250. This is the second year we’ve done this amazing giveaway. To be in the drawing, all you have to do is subscribe to an email newsletter.

In stores, please join us for some of the many free events designed to titillate, educate and inspire you. With free drinks and gift bags, too! This weekend, there’s a Happy Hour at Babeland SoHo, vouchers for free ice cream at the Street Treats truck in Seattle, Beachside BJ Tips at Babeland Brooklyn and X Marks the G-Spot at Babeland LES, among other things. Check out our events page to see the complete schedule and to choose the events and classes that float your boat.

Because We Love You!

As we’re planning for Customer Appreciation Month 2012, what would you like us to do for you? Give us your suggestions in the comment section.

..........................................

This post, Babeland’s Big Summer Sale, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on July 15, 2011. Tweet This Post!

..........................................

Whether you already love G-Spot stimulation and/or Female Ejaculation, or you’re still searching for it,  I promise you will learn something valuable and have a great time at our  G-Spot Classes.

An interesting topic we cover in our workshop is the history behind the G-Spot and Female Ejaculation. I know you want to hop in the sack; use that new position and technique you just learned; and gush all over the place, but the history is important too. I promise.

Long ago, before we had all these Victorian rules about how ladies should act, it was perfectly acceptable for women to moan loudly and gush all over the place when fornicating; women’s ejaculate was considered as important as men’s for conception; and women taught each other how to ejaculate before getting married. Knowing that might make a difference in how you experienced G-Spotting.  All this is pretty powerful information to have in your sexual arsenal. What if it was common place to see representations of women having sex in movies where they had to lay down a towel or change the sheets after? What if in sex ed in school we learned not only about reproductive health, but about the clitoris and that during sex women would gush and orgasm. Do you think that if this was common knowledge and the general expectation that more women would be likely to come this way? My theory is yes.

All in all, the history section of our class is short compared to the techniques, tips and positions, but it is such a powerful history lesson and one that most people are just amazed to find out they have been missing.

Our full workshop is on Sunday night and will be 2 hours of in-depth knowledge including anatomy, history, communication tips for talking with your partner both before and during sex to make sure you get exactly what you want. You even get to see G-Spots up close and personal (on video) and some amazing ejaculation scenes (also on video).

We are teaching a mini version of this class on Monday at Varro during Happy Hour. This shorter class will still cover all the basics (not the video’s though), plus you get to have a cocktail along with class!

Both classes are great to attend on your own, with friends or a partner. To buy tickets for the full workshop in the store, please call 206-328-2914. No preregistration is required for the Monday Happy Hour.

..........................................

This post, G-Spot Tips, Positions and…History?, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on June 2, 2011. Tweet This Post!

..........................................

This year, a lot of the performers and directors spoke about including a more diverse representation of masculinities alongside celebrating presentations of authentic female experiences. For instance, Shine Louise Houston, creator of the Crash Pad series, was honored for her new website, HeavenlySpire.com, which focuses on masculine beauty and sexuality.

Speaking about the site, Houston noted, “I watch mainstream gay porn and it’s very cookie-cutter. This is completely different. I like to break the fourth wall at the end of my movies. I want to humanize my models. I ask the guys what they think is sexy about their bodies, and it’s really interesting how they respond: it’s not always their cock. Sometimes it’s their arms or their ass or hands. When they tell me how they eroticize different parts of themselves, I can highlight that when I film.”

In the same way that feminist porn directors have previously spoken about authenticating female expression in porn, Houston seeks to bring the same realness to male sexuality in pornography by including both transgendered and cisgendered men in her alternative porn work.

Also acknowledged this year was Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex 2 (for Hottest Kink Movie), Courtney Trouble’s Billy Castro Does the Mission (for Most Tantalizing Trans Film) and Ilana Rothman’s Open Invitation (for Sexiest Straight Movie). For the full list, check out the awards website. Congratulations to all the winners and thank you, GoodForHer’s Feminist Porn Awards, for continuing to highlight genders and sexualities in an inclusive manner! Kudos!

..........................................

This post, Feminist Porn Awards Continues to Highlight Diverse Sexualities in Porn, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on May 6, 2011. Tweet This Post!

..........................................

See, our culture really puts a lot of emphasis on a quick fix. A “take this pill and it will all be better” kind of mentality. The thing is, when it comes to sex and relationships, you need to work at it more than that. There is no “quick fix” or magic pill that will make your sex life or relationship amazing. This is why, we spend a good amount of time on communication techniques in our workshops.

This Sunday in our Seattle store, we have an entire class on communication taught by Kristen Knapick, MA, LMHCA. If you have ever wished you had a better way of explaining what you truly want to your partner, or if you have ever thought you were not hearing the full story from them, this class is for you. It is a great exercise on how fully discuss your wants, fears, desires and apprehensions, among other topics.

To RSVP please call the store at 206.328.2914 or let us know you will be attending on our Facebook page. To get more information on the class, check out our Events page.

..........................................

This post, Let’s Talk about Sex, Baby, and Relationships, and…, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on April 29, 2011. Tweet This Post!

..........................................