People, especially young adults need sex education. Some folks like to think that sexual knowledge leads to sluttiness. But that’s not true.  Sex information helps people have more satisfying sex and happier lives. Good adult sex ed. goes beyond procreation and disease prevention, it teaches the anatomy of pleasure and the physiology of arousal. It also encourages people to notice their feelings, communicate their desires and to expect sex to be pleasurable. Chaste or promiscuous, the sex they have will be better. Encouraging people, especially women, to insist on their right to sexual pleasure helps undermine a culture of drunken groping that leaves women feeling used.

One of the concerns of Yale President Richard Levin is that sex week is overly commercial. Babeland, for example, has offered workshops and discussions on the G-Spot, Oral Sex Tips, Sex Toys etc.,  and of course we always mention babeland.com. The fact is there are still very few resources for adult sex education, and Babeland is a good source of the accurate sex information and encouragement that is so needed. Although there are a few new academic programs in sexuality studies (SF State has a great one) and a handful M.D.s who have focused their practices on sex, there isn’t a large credentialed professional class of sex educators at the college level. For the most part today’s sex educators come from a grass roots movement of pleasure activists who have trained each other in non-institutional settings.

Sex education is a big part of our mission at Babeland and we do tons of outreach and in-store workshops that teach various aspects of human sexuality. Helping to empower folks around their sexuality is the juice that makes selling vibrators a thrill. Going to Yale has been a fun part of that. But if Yale wants a less commercial sex week, I hope they pay that forward with a program to train those educators at Yale. I’d love to see a pleasure focused Sexuality curriculum in every college and medical school in the country.

Until that happens the students at Yale are regrouping and are planning a new SWAY- Sex Week All Year. If they invite us we’ll be glad to be a part of it.

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This post, Yale Needs Sex Ed, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on November 17, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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The woman, Jill Filipovic, blogs at a site we love, Feministe, and posted an articulate and insightful follow-up to the incident today when news hit that the Transportation Security Administration had disciplined the note-writing employee. She was frustrated that the issues about privacy and the government’s invasive security measures post-9/11 weren’t dissected in the media coverage. We agree, but also have to point out the positive side here, that a woman traveling with a sex toy didn’t become the issue. In the dozens of articles and posts we read, the vibrator was a non-issue, and that’s progress.

Culturally and socially, a woman’s right to sexual pleasure is gaining mainstream acceptance. Many people could relate to this story and wonder about the many times their personal items have been reviewed by security agents. We always worry about what someone else is thinking about our personal choices, it’s a good thing that we tend to worry less about our sex toys. If you want tips about traveling with sex toys, you can view our tips here.

Do you have a story about traveling with a sex toy? Share it in the comments. We’ll choose a random winner and send you the infamous Babeland Silver Bullet! A winner will be chosen at noon on Monday, October 31st and notified.

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This post, Yes, A TSA Agent Might See Your Vibrator and No, You Don’t Have to Be Ashamed, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on October 27, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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This article sounds techy but the Luddites will appreciate it, too, and it features our friends at Jimmyjane prominently. Lessons Interface Designers Can Learn from Teledildonics: Third-wave human-computer interaction, where users engage with machines on an emotional and even physical level, saw little expression in the marketplace, until a bunch of geeks jumped ship for the sex toy industry.

Joan Rivers teaching sign language for “orgasm” on The View. Hilarious!

20 Songs About Cunnilingus, can you think of others?

German Greens Warn of Dangerous Dildos  Phthalates are an issue we’ve talked about extensively and Babeland’s toys are all phthalate-free so you can shop with confidence and peace of mind for your health.

Top 5 Female Sex Fantasies … And What They Mean by Ian Kerner

What’s with the “sexless” trend? Recent reports of a backlash against sex are bogus, but they do reveal very real fears.

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This post, Inspiration, Information, Just Because – Link Love, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on July 18, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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Well, this author acknowledges the double-standard surrounding the possession of toys between the sexes: it’s cool for a woman to own a vibrator, but a man owning a masturbation sleeve? Gross!

And that makes all of us at Babeland very sad because there are some amazing toys for men on the market that belong in happy homes. I, for one, can’t imagine a world without my Tenga Flip, and think that every man should own both colors.

So, where do these ideas come from and how do we fight them?

In my observation, it all comes back to the age-old battle of Man vs. Machine. In our culture, sex toys are still often perceived to be a token of shame. The common misconception is that a woman will purchase a vibrator because she can’t get “the real thing,” that a toy only exists to fill an empty space in her life that should be filled by a man.

I’ve also witnessed circumstances in which a man felt threatened by a toy. I’ve talked to a lot of women shoppers at Babeland who told me that their male partners didn’t want her to buy a vibrator because “he should be enough” (in which case I often wonder if he watches porn, because the same argument could be applied). I’ve also met some of these men, who are looking for a toy to use with a female partner, but that she wouldn’t use alone. It’s amazing how much fear a motorized piece of shaking silicone can inspire.

The theme here seems to be that sex toys are supposedly designed to replace human partners. While some toys attempt to emulate certain body parts, a sex toy can never be considered an alternative to a living, breathing partner. It won’t make you pancakes in the morning, either.

I think that men still hesitate to partake in the pleasures of sex toys because it feels like a form of surrender, that buying a masturbation sleeve would be considered an admission of defeat. This would be considered a very brutal blow to the ego for some.

Likewise, it seems that men are judged as sex maniacs, desperate for a hole with or without a body attached. I assure you it is not the case. Sometimes a standard wank just doesn’t cut it, and it’s nice to have a layer of silky, textured silicone to switch it up a bit, whether it’s realistic or not. It’s no different than poking a vibrator in your region of choice.

Let’s be honest here: While a sex toy does make an excellent companion or accessory, a human being and a sex toy are not the same thing. Silicone is a wonderful material, but it will never be a replacement for the combination of flesh and personality of my partner. Likewise, have you ever met a person that can vibrate? If so, please introduce me. Sex with a human and sex with a toy should never be compared to one another. They are two completely different kinds of amazing that work well separate or apart.

So join me, fellas. There’s a sexy world of toys designed especially for us. By the way, the Cobra Libre, Babeland’s bestselling vibrating sleeve, is 40% off June 17-19. Try it, you’ll like it! Share your favorites in the comments.

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This post, Men, Sex Toys and Double-Standards, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on June 17, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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Who is your favorite sexuality educator? It doesn’t have to be someone professional in the field, it could be a friend, lover or relative. How has some informed your sexuality in a way that changed your life?

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This post, Happy National Teachers’ Day!, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on May 3, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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This post, Some Extra Tax Time Motivation: 15% Off Everything!, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on April 15, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaxBR1AiFS4

And Babeland customers have their own way to show their support, too! Buy Proper Attire condoms at any Babeland store or online and proceeds will go to support Planned Parenthood. How cool is that?

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This post, I Have Sex (And I Support Planned Parenthod), originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on March 16, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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As this video from WeAreEquals.org points out, “women are responsible for 2/3rds of the work done worldwide, yet earn 10% of the income and own about 1% of the property.” It goes beyond the financials, as well: 70 million women go without a basic education every day of their lives and 60 million women are sexually assaulted every year.

While it’s momentarily comforting to turn to recent reports on how women fared better during the “man-cession” or on how a growing number of households have a woman as the primary breadwinner, these short-lived (and potentially media-overblown) instances of women “winning” over men are hardly grounds for a dismissal of the pervading differences that exist between women’s and men’s lives, especially in regard to women’s sexual health. According to the Kinsey Institute, an estimated 100 to 400 million women are still subject to Female Genital Mutilation around the world every year, and just in the United States alone, a woman is raped every two minutes. Hence the importance of International Women’s Day!

For those of you who are fond of social media, the International Women’s Day website offers a number of ways to call out the day on your Facebook or Twitter account. You can also participate, either virally or in person, in the “Join Us on the Bridge” event, connecting women today across the globe. Here’s a list of more philanthropic efforts that can help you get involved as well. Check out this amazing wishlist entitled “All I want for International Women’s Day is…” and get inspired to write some wishes of your own. And for a more personal touch, post a status update on your Facebook or send out an email to your family and friends, telling them about the amazing women who have touched your life. Or tell a woman in your life how she’s made it bigger and brighter! In fact, I think there’s a few ladies I’ll be emailing right now.

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This post, International Women’s Day Celebrates Its 100th Year Anniversary, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on March 8, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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I have to admit, after about a half hour or so of online research, I couldn’t really say that I knew what really went on in this classroom. The coverage felt as unsatisfying and as ineffective as a censor’s floating black rectangle over a pair of breasts. I had an idea of what the story looked like, without the actual details.

Thankfully, Salon.com’s staff writer Tracy Clark-Flory published an interview with John Michael Bailey, which (in addition to the breadcrumbs I’d already found) filled in many of those blanks for me. I discovered that the class had watched a video during the formal class on female ejaculation and the G-spot (two areas of contention within human sexuality) and having observed that video themselves, the panelists for the “Network for Kinky People” offered to demonstrate how a woman ejaculates, utilizing a modified electric saw (presumably with a insertable toy attached). The woman involved (whose name, incidentally, as well as personal photos, have been distributed widely with the story – far more so than her partner’s) thus disrobed and she and her partner engaged in a sexual act involving the toy.

Now, obviously, this demonstration was explicit, as it contained nudity and penetration. Yet as Clark-Flory herself points out, “aren’t we overreacting a bit?” The primary motivation voiced by the panelists was their belief that the video (which may or may not have been pornographic) ineffectively demonstrated the dynamics of stimulating the G-spot to ejaculation. Bailey himself did multiple check-ins with the students to affirm that the material was explicit and that those who were uncomfortable could leave.

The question is, then, where is the harm? Perhaps the perceived harm comes at least in part from the “Edited for TV” approach reporters seem to be taking, rather than stating what actually happened in this classroom. If the incident is indeed as Bailey accounts it, it served an educational purpose of teaching students what a woman achieving G-spot orgasm might look it (as well as how to do it). Also, for any artist who has taken a drawing class (or a medical student who has observed a pelvic exam, for that matter), nudity serves its place in the classroom. Furthermore, those who remained in the classroom to observe it had a genuine interest in being there. Still, regardless of these nuances, the treatment of the demonstration as media story mirrors the way we seem to treat sexuality in general: foggy titillations that fails to deliver actual information.

What do you think? Did Bailey go to far in allowing this in a classroom? Or do you think it’s media hype? For another perspective on this topic, check out what Babeland’s co-founder Rachel has to say over at Moms in Babeland.

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This post, Sexuality Education or “Live Nude Girl”?, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on March 4, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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I think of moments like this especially on days like today, since today, March 3rd is International Sex Worker Rights Day. And while there are amazing projects going on all over the world to bring some sex workers together and unite some for the collective cause of gaining worker’s rights for sex workers, I worry less about what sex workers say to each other and more about what’s being said about them. I would love to see people rallying themselves for the causes of sex workers as allies – mothers, fathers, siblings, friends, coworkers, and partners -  and just being supportive of the people around them who engage in sex work, whether it’s convenient to do or not (as I imagine, it’s may not always be). That’s why I love the ad campaign by Canadian non-profit organization Stepping Stone, which presents sex workers through the lens of just those people (in the case of the above photo, a sex worker’s mother). No one can fight for their rights alone, they need the support and respect of surrounding communities in order to realize a goal like decriminalization, on any level. It is my belief that the more we can normalize sex work on some level, treat it like another profession (though it may never be unsalacious enough to just be “any other profession”), the greater chance sex workers have of being treated with dignity and respect – not “like a hooker.”

Despite the recent setback of $pread Magazine, the sex worker advocacy magazine, closing up shop, there are still ways to pay it forward and get involved in making the voices of sex workers (as well as your own voice, in support of their rights) heard. You can donate to the Speak Up! Media Training, which is a weekend-long media training for sex workers (from around the continent!) on how to effectively speak to the media. You can also create a piece for the Sex Worker Zine Project, which is accepting submissions from both sex workers and allies. In the meantime, if you are interested in finding out more about the lives of sex workers and those who love them, here’s a link to a podcast from the Red Umbrella Diaries, a monthly storytelling series that highlights the experiences of those in the sex industry. This particular piece is called “Growing Up Loving a Working Mother” and is by Sydney Seifert, a writer and photographer from New York City.

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This post, “I’m Proud of My Sex Worker”: International Sex Worker Rights Day, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on March 3, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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