Bedroom Talk with Kandi Burruss from the Real Housewives of Atlanta
Thursday, December 15, 7pm, Free
Babeland SoHo, 43 Mercer Street
You’ve enjoyed watching Kandi Burruss’ sassy and down-to-earth presence on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, now help us celebrate the launch of Bedroom Kandi, her elegant new line of discreet toys. Meet Kandi and hear about her inspiration for the toys, as well as her experiences on the Real Housewives of Atlanta! Bring your BFFs for a ladies night out with Kandi, including manicures by the Polish Bar of Brooklyn, cocktails, Bedroom Kandi raffle prizes and more.

Here’s what Kandi had to say when we chatted with her about the toys.

Babeland: You’ve had such an interesting career in entertainment, how did you decide to create your own line of sex toys? In some ways, it seems like, “well, of course she did!” and it also seems a bit risky. As women in this industry, we understand that vibrators and women’s sexy time are still challenging for mainstream America to handle.

Kandi: I was invited on the Dr. Laura Berman show.  She’s a medical doctor and she also has her own line of intimate products and I was like, wow, with my show, Kandi Koated Nights as a springboard, I can do the same thing.  Then I found out about this woman in Europe that became a billionaire in the adult product industry and from that point on, it was a no brainer.

Babeland: How did your family and friends react when you decided to launch a line of vibrators?

Kandi: My family and friends are always very supportive of me in everything I do. When I did my research and decided to step into this endeavor, I really wanted to make sure my mother did not think I was making the wrong move.  As long as she was fine with it, then I was comfortable doing it.

Babeland: We’re huge fans of the colors and shapes you’ve chosen. We’ve seen other lipstick vibes before, but Kandi Kisses has an unsurpassed weight, shape and quality. Why did you decide to go with the make-up design?

Kandi: The beauty of these pieces is that they’re not intimidating. They were designed to be very discreet. You can throw them in your purse and walk around with your own plaything and feel comfortable. They’re a combination of pleasure and style.

Babeland: What drew you to the unique powder-puff shape for the Make Me Over vibe? It’s a shape and design that is completely new.

Kandi: The whole idea was to create discreet packaging so that a woman can enjoy an orgasm on the go and so that if the product were mistakenly left on her dresser, no one would be alarmed! I decided to go with the make-up angle because it brought an elegant feel to the product line.

Babeland: Do you think that you’re part of destigmatizing vibrators for women? You have a high profile and many women look up to you. Have you found that launching this line is opening a new dialogue with your viewers and fans?

Kandi: I feel Bedroom Kandi will change the perception of how people view intimate products and open up the conversation, especially in the African American community. Sexual pleasure has such as huge stigma and it should not.

Babeland: What was the most fun part of designing a sex toy?

Kandi: Working on it has allowed for a healthy dialogue about sex.

Babeland: You’ve written Grammy award-winning music, so it’s no coincidence that one of your vibrators, the Happiness & Joy, vibrates to the beat and rhythm of music. What type of music sounds the best on Happiness & Joy? What’s your personal favorite song to play on this vibrator?

Kandi: Anything that you feel comfortable listening to in the bedroom works with this vibe! It does not have to be a specific type of song.  It can be very passionate songs about love, dance songs to make things fun, or heavy bass club songs to give it that extra “edge” in certain encounters with your mate. I do not know if I have a personal favorite song, maybe I have a personal play list!

Babeland: Do you have advice for women who are new to vibrators on trying a Bedroom Kandi toy for the first time?

Kandi: Yes, it’s the best fun you can have by yourself. Try it; I’m confident you will like it!

Babeland: Do you have a favorite that you like to recommend?

Kandi: My favorite piece is the Happiness & Joy dual-action vibe. It brings you happiness on the inside and joy on the outside at the same time.

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This post, Kandi Burruss Debuts New Sex Toy Line at Babeland, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on December 13, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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The woman, Jill Filipovic, blogs at a site we love, Feministe, and posted an articulate and insightful follow-up to the incident today when news hit that the Transportation Security Administration had disciplined the note-writing employee. She was frustrated that the issues about privacy and the government’s invasive security measures post-9/11 weren’t dissected in the media coverage. We agree, but also have to point out the positive side here, that a woman traveling with a sex toy didn’t become the issue. In the dozens of articles and posts we read, the vibrator was a non-issue, and that’s progress.

Culturally and socially, a woman’s right to sexual pleasure is gaining mainstream acceptance. Many people could relate to this story and wonder about the many times their personal items have been reviewed by security agents. We always worry about what someone else is thinking about our personal choices, it’s a good thing that we tend to worry less about our sex toys. If you want tips about traveling with sex toys, you can view our tips here.

Do you have a story about traveling with a sex toy? Share it in the comments. We’ll choose a random winner and send you the infamous Babeland Silver Bullet! A winner will be chosen at noon on Monday, October 31st and notified.

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This post, Yes, A TSA Agent Might See Your Vibrator and No, You Don’t Have to Be Ashamed, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on October 27, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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Babeland’s social history project debuts online at www.vintagevibrators.com. History buffs, techies, collectors, and sex toy fans should all enjoy these novel antiques.

Scroll through the exhibits, imagining yourself being treated for “hysteria” by one of the more tortuous looking devices, or marvel at the beauty-aid imagery used to market early-model vibrators to consumers. Wow your next dinner party guests with vibrator history anecdotes, including the ultimate proof that necessity is the mother of all invention: doctors experienced repetitive motion stress from manual stimulation of their patients, which ultimately led to the invention of this labor-saving device. You can even trace the lineage of your vibrator to its nineteenth century predecessor in the entertaining Modern Classics section.

One thing we learned during this project is that vintage vibrators come with stories. What’s yours? Did you find one in Grandma’s closet? In the attic of your new house? Share your story with us here or email a photo and the backstory to us at marketing@babeland.com and we’ll post it. We want to start a collection of your vintage sex toys, so if we post your photo, we’ll send you a coupon good for $10 off your next order.

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This post, All Abuzz About Vintage Vibrators, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on September 19, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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Cosmopolitan surveyed women about sex, dating and relationships. Only 20% of the women who responded said they were “Completely satisfied – wouldn’t change a thing” when asked “How satisfied are you with your sex life?”. That’s really upsetting and means we have our work cut out for us here at Babeland. Maybe a survey of our own is in order, too.

Trojan hopes its ‘Good Vibrations’ truck will stimulate a discussion about sex — and we do, too. Babeland’s co-founder and the co-author of Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex, Claire Cavanah, was there for the debut Thursday, July 28th and was interviewed by one of our fave sex educators, Logan Levkoff. We’ll post a video from the truck soon. Meanwhile, check out the Tri-Phoria vibe if you want a versatile new toy.

A male porn star speaks: James Deen sits down with Salon to wax poetic about sex as art — and begs you not to learn your moves from him. This is an insightful interview from Salon that let’s us get to know a person that most mainstream media outlets aren’t profiling. If you’re curious about James, you can see him in Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge.

10 Famous Ladies Who Like It Kinky  Rihanna, Nicole Kidman, Britney Spears and more! By the way, RiRi, you can shop privately at Babeland anytime you want and we promise we won’t call the National Enquire or any other paparazzi.

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This post, Inspiration, Information and Just Because – Link Love, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on August 2, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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This article sounds techy but the Luddites will appreciate it, too, and it features our friends at Jimmyjane prominently. Lessons Interface Designers Can Learn from Teledildonics: Third-wave human-computer interaction, where users engage with machines on an emotional and even physical level, saw little expression in the marketplace, until a bunch of geeks jumped ship for the sex toy industry.

Joan Rivers teaching sign language for “orgasm” on The View. Hilarious!

20 Songs About Cunnilingus, can you think of others?

German Greens Warn of Dangerous Dildos  Phthalates are an issue we’ve talked about extensively and Babeland’s toys are all phthalate-free so you can shop with confidence and peace of mind for your health.

Top 5 Female Sex Fantasies … And What They Mean by Ian Kerner

What’s with the “sexless” trend? Recent reports of a backlash against sex are bogus, but they do reveal very real fears.

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This post, Inspiration, Information, Just Because – Link Love, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on July 18, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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Well, this author acknowledges the double-standard surrounding the possession of toys between the sexes: it’s cool for a woman to own a vibrator, but a man owning a masturbation sleeve? Gross!

And that makes all of us at Babeland very sad because there are some amazing toys for men on the market that belong in happy homes. I, for one, can’t imagine a world without my Tenga Flip, and think that every man should own both colors.

So, where do these ideas come from and how do we fight them?

In my observation, it all comes back to the age-old battle of Man vs. Machine. In our culture, sex toys are still often perceived to be a token of shame. The common misconception is that a woman will purchase a vibrator because she can’t get “the real thing,” that a toy only exists to fill an empty space in her life that should be filled by a man.

I’ve also witnessed circumstances in which a man felt threatened by a toy. I’ve talked to a lot of women shoppers at Babeland who told me that their male partners didn’t want her to buy a vibrator because “he should be enough” (in which case I often wonder if he watches porn, because the same argument could be applied). I’ve also met some of these men, who are looking for a toy to use with a female partner, but that she wouldn’t use alone. It’s amazing how much fear a motorized piece of shaking silicone can inspire.

The theme here seems to be that sex toys are supposedly designed to replace human partners. While some toys attempt to emulate certain body parts, a sex toy can never be considered an alternative to a living, breathing partner. It won’t make you pancakes in the morning, either.

I think that men still hesitate to partake in the pleasures of sex toys because it feels like a form of surrender, that buying a masturbation sleeve would be considered an admission of defeat. This would be considered a very brutal blow to the ego for some.

Likewise, it seems that men are judged as sex maniacs, desperate for a hole with or without a body attached. I assure you it is not the case. Sometimes a standard wank just doesn’t cut it, and it’s nice to have a layer of silky, textured silicone to switch it up a bit, whether it’s realistic or not. It’s no different than poking a vibrator in your region of choice.

Let’s be honest here: While a sex toy does make an excellent companion or accessory, a human being and a sex toy are not the same thing. Silicone is a wonderful material, but it will never be a replacement for the combination of flesh and personality of my partner. Likewise, have you ever met a person that can vibrate? If so, please introduce me. Sex with a human and sex with a toy should never be compared to one another. They are two completely different kinds of amazing that work well separate or apart.

So join me, fellas. There’s a sexy world of toys designed especially for us. By the way, the Cobra Libre, Babeland’s bestselling vibrating sleeve, is 40% off June 17-19. Try it, you’ll like it! Share your favorites in the comments.

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This post, Men, Sex Toys and Double-Standards, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on June 17, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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If you are a lover of men, or a lover of men’s sex toys, win the raciest men’s vibe on the market, by commenting on this post!

When it comes to sex toys men tend to  fall into two camps: those who think 1) “toys are an insult to my manhood”, or 2)” I like ‘em, but I’ll never admit it.” Number one seems to have a more tenacious hold on the male psyche--men often equate the use of a sex toy, especially a penis sleeve, with a lack of sexual success. Intrigued? You can learn more about this in the recent article on male masturbation on the Frisky.

The second camp, those who use sex toys but won’t admit it,  is starting to change. Even celebrities are jumping on the sex toy bandwagon, as you can see in 10 Famous Men Who (allegedly) Like Sex Toys. Even still, those celebs who are out about their sex toy use are more open about their preference for kink and less forthcoming about male masturbation.

Fortunately, sex toy manufacturers like Fun Factory are figuring out that if you want to sell a guy a sex toy, you gotta make it appealing to guys. Forget names like “penis ring” which seem like something you might see in an X-rated rom com. You gotta bring out the toys that conjure up images of fast cars, power tools, or fine cigars. Witness the introduction this year of our best-selling male masturbation sleeve: the Cobra Libre vibrator. This toy sounds like a fast car, and Fun Factory even released a hysterical demo video (watch it at the end of this post) which depicted the toy as a race car.

So, friends, here’s your challenge: leave a post here and tell us either what you’d name a guy’s sex toy, or what you’d like to see turned into a guy’s sex toy. To get you started, enjoy the photo at left!

We’ll take posts until June 12, at which time we’ll choose a winner and send you your very own Cobra Libre, (a $139 toy) just in time for Father’s Day, Gay Pride, or graduation, take your pick!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnTgkgYf5Mc

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This post, Win the Cobra Libre Men’s Vibe from Fun Factory!, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on May 19, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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Not everyone is so inclined to discuss such topics with their mothers, though. Pamela Madsen, author of Shameless, recently discussed the possibility of giving your mother the gift of sexual health on a recent Psychology Today blog; some people, she said, find the idea a bit odd. She spoke specifically about how a recent press release from a vaginal moisterizer company suggested that for Mother’s Day, giving the gift of vaginal moisture to your mother might be one way to show her you care. Many other online bloggers, though, seemed to regard this idea as either funny or questionable. As you might think, as a Babeland educator, I agree with Pamela; I love the idea of just going for it and starting the conversation.

More and more in the Babeland stores, I see women come in with their daughters to help them pick out their first vibrators. Sometimes, it’s the other way around: women bringing their mother in to get their mother a vibe! Normalizing sexual pleasure and sexual health for any one in your life is a wonderful gift that lasts a lifetime. And at this time of year, why not let it be your mother?

Readers, have you ever purchased a sex toy for your mother? Share your stories with us here!

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This post, Celebrating Mother’s Day, One Bottle of Lube at a Time., originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on May 8, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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This year, a lot of the performers and directors spoke about including a more diverse representation of masculinities alongside celebrating presentations of authentic female experiences. For instance, Shine Louise Houston, creator of the Crash Pad series, was honored for her new website, HeavenlySpire.com, which focuses on masculine beauty and sexuality.

Speaking about the site, Houston noted, “I watch mainstream gay porn and it’s very cookie-cutter. This is completely different. I like to break the fourth wall at the end of my movies. I want to humanize my models. I ask the guys what they think is sexy about their bodies, and it’s really interesting how they respond: it’s not always their cock. Sometimes it’s their arms or their ass or hands. When they tell me how they eroticize different parts of themselves, I can highlight that when I film.”

In the same way that feminist porn directors have previously spoken about authenticating female expression in porn, Houston seeks to bring the same realness to male sexuality in pornography by including both transgendered and cisgendered men in her alternative porn work.

Also acknowledged this year was Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex 2 (for Hottest Kink Movie), Courtney Trouble’s Billy Castro Does the Mission (for Most Tantalizing Trans Film) and Ilana Rothman’s Open Invitation (for Sexiest Straight Movie). For the full list, check out the awards website. Congratulations to all the winners and thank you, GoodForHer’s Feminist Porn Awards, for continuing to highlight genders and sexualities in an inclusive manner! Kudos!

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This post, Feminist Porn Awards Continues to Highlight Diverse Sexualities in Porn, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on May 6, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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Who is your favorite sexuality educator? It doesn’t have to be someone professional in the field, it could be a friend, lover or relative. How has some informed your sexuality in a way that changed your life?

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This post, Happy National Teachers’ Day!, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on May 3, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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