I’ve read a few reviews of the SaSi and I thought it sounded interesting but I couldn’t really see how I would connect to it. Then, I read one of our guest reviews and it completely blew me away. I’ve always wished that my vibrators would move a little bit - more than just the vibration - and in fact, I often find myself moving my vibrator back and forth. When I read this review it finally sunk home that the SaSi will do that for me!

That round nub will rotate in circles (if you like) or in a little semicircle (if you want), or in a teeny arc on the right side of your clit (hey, that’s nice), or back and forth really fast (um, don’t stop, SaSi!). Sound a lot like oral sex? It is!

The other interesting thing that this review mentioned was that the SaSi can help you figure out just what it is that you like so that you can share that with your partner.

Another way to use your vibrator is to discover what you really like. I can sure tell you how I like to get fucked—angle, depth, volume. But when it came to receiving head, I wasn’t really sure exactly what was happening down there. Who knows where your partner’s tongue is exactly and if they’re swirling it in a semi circle on the top or a U-shape on the bottom? SaSi knows, and SaSi tells all. You like what’s happening? Pick it up and look at it, sugar, and see what’s going on. A little rotation from noon to three o’clock does it just right for me, and now I know. And you’ll be better able to communicate what you like, too.

This is such a fantastic idea - finally, an easy visual representation of the types of stimulation your clitoris enjoys. No more having partners do the alphabet with their tongues, you can just show them the SaSi!

I’m getting more and more excited about this toy. I promise, when I get one I’ll review it. If you get one, I’d love to hear what you think about it!

Be forewarned: I’m about to get wordy. Please also have faith that this is well worth the time spent reading.

Some backtracking may first be in order. The DSM is easily considered the “bible” or “ultimate guide” for any mental health professional making diagnoses, treating patients, and/or looking for 3rd party payers (e.g., insurance providers). Published by the APA, the DSM is currently in its 4th edition (DSM-IV), with a 5th revised edition (DSM-V) slated for completion in 2012. Past revisions of the DSM have included the addition of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) to the DSM-IV and the removal of homosexuality (which had appeared prior as a sociopathic, then sexual deviate personality disorder) in the DSM-III. As historically evidenced, the DSM and APA are capable of doing both great good and great harm; it is the latter that I am most concerned about.

While homosexuality was finally removed from the DSM in 1982, Gender Identity Disorder (GID) remains. Currently, the DSM-IV groups GID, sexual dysfunction, and paraphilias under the umbrella of “sexual and gender identity disorders.” With DSM-V currently in the works, this grouping is also up for revision. Enter: Kenneth J. Zucker.

APA STATEMENT ON GID AND THE DSM

May 9, 2008

The American Psychiatric Association has received inquiries about the DSM-V process, particularly concerns raised about the Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders Work Group.

The APA has a long-standing mission to provide guidelines for the diagnosis and treatment of mental disorders, based on the most current clinical and scientific knowledge. Through advocacy and education of the public and policymakers, the APA also affirms it commitment to reducing stigma and discrimination.

The DSM addresses criteria for the diagnosis of mental disorders. The DSM does not provide treatment recommendations or guidelines. The APA is aware of the need for greater scientific and clinical consensus on the best treatments for individuals with Gender Identity Disorder (GID). Toward that end, the APA Board of Trustees voted to create a special APA Task Force to review the scientific and clinical literature on the treatment of GID. It is expected that members of the Task Force will be appointed shortly.

There are 13 DSM-V work groups. Collectively, the work group members will review all existing diagnostic categories in the current DSM. Each work group will be able to make proposals to revise existing diagnostic criteria, to consider new diagnostic categories, and to suggest deleting existing diagnostic categories.

All DSM-V work group proposals will be based on a careful, balanced review and analysis of the best clinical and scientific data. Evidence accumulated from work group members and hundreds of additional advisors to the DSM-V effort will be considered before final recommendations are made.

The Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders Work Group, chaired by Kenneth J. Zucker, Ph.D., will have 13 members who will form three subcommittees:

* Gender Identity Disorders, chaired by Peggy T. Cohen-Kettenis, Ph.D.
* Paraphilias, chaired by Ray Blanchard, Ph.D.
* Sexual Dysfunctions, chaired by R. Taylor Segraves, M.D., Ph.D.

Each subcommittee will pursue its own charge, provide ongoing peer review, and consult with outside experts. The DSM-V is expected to be published in 2012.

This may sound well and good, until one begins researching Dr. Zucker. Currently serving as the Head/Psychologist-in-Chief of the Gender Identity Service, Child, Youth, and Family Program at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, Dr. Zucker’s history of treating gender identity disorder in children and youth is vast. Further research of his career digs up another nugget of gold: Zucker has many ties with the Ex-Gay movement, which uses reparative/conversion therapy for treating homosexuality (e.g., turning homosexuals into heterosexuals). You see where this is heading, right? Zucker uses reparative/conversion therapy to “cure” GID in trans* children and youth; and he cautions, “…clinicians have an ethical obligation to inform parents of the relationship between GID and homosexuality.” (Quote culled from narth.com)

The APA has a position statement against reparative therapy (not to mention a GLBT committee, staffed by GLBT psychiatrists who oppose reparative/conversion therapy). Considering this stance, it makes little to no sense that they would see it fit to place Zucker, an active practitioner of reparative/conversion therapy, as head of the GID Workgroup; but, alas, they have.

While a select few have accused me of being alarmist, I think that is far from the case: the threat that I see is quite real. Zucker’s appointment both saddens and frightens me on multiple levels. While I agree that including GID in the DSM can be helpful in procuring insurance coverage for expensive hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and sex reassignment surgery (SRS), I’ve found little evidence that Zucker supports either; instead, the reworking of the DSM’s GID entry will be chaired by someone who is an active practitioner of rehabilitating trans* children and youth via nigh-stone age methods. And while the APA has been careful to state that Zucker’s influence will not extend to clinical treatment of transpersons, I find it difficult to believe that his methods will go entirely ignored. It is a slippery slope that the APA is traversing, especially in a sociopolitical climate that still stigmatizes both homosexuality and transsexualism/genderism.

Online writing about Zucker (his past, present, and future; along with reactions from GLBT, heterosexual, and/or cisgendered folks) is plentiful. Below is a sampling links that I highly recommend perusing.

There is a wealth of information (along with informative links) to be found at the Transgroup Blog.
Read what Ex-Gay Watch has to say about Zucker and Bradley.
Delve into Zucker on Transsexualism at TS Roadmap.
Listen to a heart-rending piece on two transsexual/gendered children (one of whom is being treated by Zucker) at NPR.

I cannot stress enough that we need to be informed, and then let the APA know what we think. This is an issue that matters to all of us: homosexual, bisexual, queer, and heterosexual; transsexual/gender and cissexual.

Desire: How sleep deprivation, hormones, and stress can affect your desire. How to cultivate desire, how to negotiate your needs w/ partners

This is a topic that is near and dear to me. As a student in psychobiology, I feel that there is so much knowledge about the female body that is never even discussed, and then we are left to figure out changes in our bodies through the negative stereotypes that our society breeds. Every month a cycling woman that is not on hormonal birth control goes through so many hormone changes and levels, but then a pregnancy occurs and those levels go up to points that should be life threatening. Not to mention the plethora of other hormones that kick into gear throughout pregnancy. Then post pregnancy, most of the hormone levels begin to drop. If breastfeeding, oxytocin stays very high. Oxytocin is the bonding hormone, it makes you feel love and devotion but not lust and desire. So you have high levels of a hormone that makes you feel bonded, you are sleep deprived from feedings every 2 hours and then you have the stress of triple the laundry, cleaning house cooking meals, driving other kids to their activities and the memory of a relationship that once was loaded with hot and heavy sex.

What now? Cultivating desire is possibly the most difficult part because you are fighting internal and external forces. There is a book called the orgasmic diet http://store.babeland.com/books-sex-information/the-orgasmic-diet that has lots of great eating tips and information, however, there are limitations if your body is still sustaining another life. Remember those times when your partner would sneak up behind you and nibble your ear, or rub up on you just right…hold that feeling. Remind yourself of those little moments that would just titillate you enough to make you want it, then just keep remembering those moments. Do your kegel exercises while remembering these times. You can get exercise and a small dose of desire while going about the rest of your day. That may not always be enough. Tell your partner that they are responsible for courting you all over again. You are not the same woman you were and you need different things to get you going. This will add a level of excitement for both of you. Doing something new can stimulate your hormones that make you want sex too.

Now that you are trying to get the desire back on a personal level, you need to talk to your partner. This can be an ordeal all in its own. There is an opportunity that they are going through all of the external stresses that you are and are on edge themselves. So sitting down and having time without distractions (this might require a late night) and discussing where you are at and what you feel you need is a good first step. Be sure to use positive language and not place blame on one of you. Plan a block of time that is just for the two of you. Get a babysitter that will take the kids to the park or museum. Get the kids out so that you don’t have to feel put out and can enjoy each other in your own home. Then you can find little ways to stimulate each other and get each other really excited for your private time together. Get the sex night planner http://store.babeland.com/sexy-games/sex-night-planner and hide it in their bag as they leave the house, or send them dirty little text messages. Find a way to get yourself excited about the possibility of that time. I know that finding time is hard, but we make time for everything else in our days, and there is a good opportunity that an hour of great sex will leave you feeling better than an hour of going to the gym or the book club meeting.

Any history of the development of stigma as a concept must start with the work of Erving Goffman (1963). Goffman was the first to use the term stigma as he applied it to “an attribute that is deeply discrediting and that reduces the bearer from a whole and usual person to a tainted, discounted one.” Goffman saw stigma as something that marked an individual and reduced their status in society.

Goffman went on to develop three categories of sigma: ‘tribal’, ‘abominations of the body’ and blemishes of the individual. Tribal stigmas are those that are passed down or are familiar or hereditary. These include race and ethnicity as well as some religions. Abominations of body Goffman described as “un-inherited physical characteristics that convey a devalued social identity” (Crocker er al 1998) such as a physical handicap or obesity. These are nearly always very visible. Blemishes of individual character are stigmas given to social identities that are related to one’s personality or behavior such as being a substance abuser, juvenile delinquent or a homosexual.

Jones et al (1984) developed on Goffman’s work by illustrating six categories in which these different types of stigma would become more or less salient or damaging to individuals: concealability, course, disruptiveness, aesthetic qualities, origin and peril. Concealability is the degree to which a stigma is obvious or visible and to what degree it is controllable. Course refers to the pattern of change over time that is usually shown for the condition and what is the ultimate outcome? For this concept, the beliefs held by the “marked” person and the beliefs of the person doing the “marking” about the future course of the condition may be of great importance. For instance, “if the marker is of the general opinion that obese people typically remain fat, he will probably treat a fat person more negatively than someone who thinks that losing great amounts of excess weight is common” (Jones). Disruptiveness is the degree to which the condition blocks or hampers interaction and communication as might a mental disability. Aesthetic qualities refer to the extent to which the “mark” makes the possessor repellant, ugly or upsetting. Origin is simply the circumstances under which the condition originated and who might have been responsible for it. In this instance, when an individual is believed to be responsible for his deviance, some form of punishment is likely to be involved in the way that others respond to it. Lastly, Peril describes the amount of danger posed by the “mark” and how imminent and serious the threat might be. These frameworks were very important in helping researchers think about various types of stigma, especially when differentiating one stigma from another. This will be especially useful when thinking about LGB stigma.

Goffman’s work has inspired more than forty years of research and writing stemming from his original theory, much of this work focused on types and effects of stigma but neglected to discuss how stigma is created and maintained. In a seminal work in 2001, Link and Phelan followed by Parker and Aggleton in 2003 critiqued some of the fundamental aspects of Goffman’s work and cast stigma in a whole new, much more socially connected light.

Link & Phelan (2001) put forth the argument that stigma only happens when certain interrelated components converge. First, people must distinguish and label human differences. Then, dominant cultural beliefs must link labeled persons to undesirable characteristics. Labeled persons must then be placed in distinct categories so as to accomplish some degree of separation between “us” and “them”. These labeled persons then experience status loss and discrimination. As Link & Phelan state “thus, people are stigmatized when the fact that they are labeled, set apart, and linked to undesirable characteristics leads them to experience status loss and discrimination”.

These requirements make an important distinction between previous work on stigma that treated it as if it were a fixed thing or attribute instead of a subjective construct dependent on others to create and maintain it. Looking more closely at the concept of discrimination, Link & Phelan (2001) offer of a critique of this approach by illustrating that previous models asked, “what makes person A discriminate against person B”? This, they argue, is inadequate to explain stigma and argue that in fact, stigma has a group, or structural dimension. Institutional racism is a perfect example of this: “employers (more often white) rely on the personal recommendations of colleagues or acquaintances (more often white and more likely to know and recommend white job candidates) for hiring decisions.” Thus stigma affects the social structure around a person, creating a “disabling environment” (Hahn 1983) that is more than just one person not hiring another but is a system which works to deprive some of benefits based on certain characteristics, consciously or not.

Building on this, Link & Phelan (2001) and Parker and Aggleton (2003) define stigma in relation, not just to individual interactions, but society as a whole and in particular those people in society who have power. Stigma here is seen as something that can be created by everyone but is only available to those who have the power to wield it. Link & Phelan give an example of a group of mental health patients who develop stereotypes and stigmas about their caretakers in a psychiatric ward.

“Although the patients might engage in every component of stigma we identified, the staff would not end up being a stigmatized group. The patients simply do not possess the social, cultural, economic, and political power to imbue their cognitions about staff with serious discriminatory consequences”

Thus, stigma can be conceptualized as a social process that can only be understood in relation to broader notions of power and domination. Stereotypes might always exist and in fact, literature from psychology indicates that stereotypes help our brains to function and save cognitive space. Stigma occurs when this stereotyping is mixed with the power to make those stereotypes into social norms.

Another way to look at this is to say that stigma functions at the point of intersection between culture, power and difference. It takes a culture that defines a difference and has the power to make that difference meaningful in order for stigma to occur.

What does this mean for sex education? For me, it’s about remembering that people who walk in the door to Babeland and are possibly members of stigmatized groups aren’t just suffering from individual acts, they are part of a process and Babeland can be one of the few places that is not part of a stigmatizing system. Babeland can be a place that works to be stigma-free, to provide refuge and love for traditionally stigmatized groups. It’s not just that the sex educators at Babeland try to not act in a way that stigmatizes people, it’s that the whole philosophy of Babeland means that we don’t see people as worthy of being stigmatized and we work to create environments where they can feel the opposite of stigmatized.

First designed in 1972, this discreet little number is oft touted as the “grandmother of all battery vibrators.” Thirty-two years ago, it stood alone multi-speed status with a mere two models (small and large); unfortunately, “Dave” (or Direct Advantage Values Enterprise, Inc.) did not foresee that it would take off in the manner that it would. As he never patented his design, there are now over 10,000 variations in style, size, and texture… not to mention a dazzling rainbow of colors from which to choose.

Much like vintage Eames, the Slimline’s classic design has withstood the test of time. Once found tucked neatly into your grandmother’s underwear drawer or your mother’s bedside table, this vibe now finds itself pleasuring the next generation. With its pleasing candy colors, seamless hard plastic design, and speeds that take themselves from a purr to a growl, this vibe is a wonderful choice for a first-time user or a seasoned vibration aficionada. Want vibration on your clit? The Slimline provides. Desire internal stimulation? The Slimline is there as well. Want to take it in the tub with you? Why, yes, there are even two waterproof models, one of which comes in a feisty pink leopard pattern.
A happy customer reports:

This is a nice vibe, slick enough to use without lube and thick enough to really feel once you insert it. The vibrations are strong, quiet, and based at the tip, so it’s great for clit or vaginal use.

Unlike vintage Eames, the Slimline will not drain your savings account. Always affordable (the large silver is even on sale this month), it’s a guilt-free indulgence that still allows room for modernist furniture fantasies. (Because really, how fabulous would this classically designed vibe look with your flawlessly designed chair?)

Join us in celebrating our 15th Anniversary by entering to win a gift basket of our 15 All Star Toys (including the Slimline)—a value of $1200!

I am reposting this from The Gender Center, Inc. in Oregon. Please read the following article and then take the time to sign this easy to use on-line petition.
This is an extremely serious issue for the GLBT community, we really need everyone’s help with this one! Thank you in advance for your time and support.

Dear folks,

I’m writing you because you are well-connected with our LGBT community organizations. A catastrophic thing has just happened to the community on the federal level, there’s still time to stop it, and most folks in the community seem not to know. A few days ago the American Psychiatric Association announced who would write the new revision of the DSMV, the manual of mental disorders that controls the diagnosis and treatment of gender and sexual difference. The “expert” just named to chair the revisions on sexuality and gender is Kenneth Zucker. Zucker is the major remaining proponent of “reparative therapy” to “cure” kids they think are LGBT. If the APA doesn’t change the committee, the next edition of the DSMV will probably prescribe reparative therapies as recommended “treatment” for LGBT people.

Zucker’s named Ray Blanchard to the work group that will rewrite Gender Identity Disorder. Here’s the deal: Blanchard is connected with ex-gay organizations; his core theory is that transpeople are “really” sex offenders or homosexuals, and homosexuals are mentally ill. Zucker’s stated purpose for reparative therapy is that, without it, gay kids will grow up into transsexuals. So any version of Gender Identity Disorder the two of them write will not only put transpeople out of medical help and into conversion therapy, but also redefine GID from an independent diagnosis to a kind of homosexuality. In other words, their goal is to put homosexuality back in the DSMV as a mental illness. We’d be back where we were before 1973.

I hoped I’d never have to live with this crap again, but here we are in the Stone Age. These are the folks that “cure” boys who play with dolls and girls who like sports. The APA just gave these wackos the authority to define American gays and lesbians as mentally ill. They’re likely to use it. We have to get the word out. If the community protests loudly and fast, the APA will probably have to remove Zucker and Blanchard. I am terrified it won’t happen because it’ll get tagged as a “trans issue.” The HRC, the Advocate and so on have no love lost on transpeople, but transpeople don’t have the pull with the APA. Only the gay and lesbian communities can apply the necessary pressure. It’s use it or lose it. Once your identity has been defined as a mental illness your political clout falls to zero.

Folks in the know say the appointment was so unexpected that it’s likely most APA leadership doesn’t really understand what they just did. Zucker and Blanchard are considered fringe–Zucker’s clinic in Toronto has been defunded by the Canadian government. But they’re famous for their political skills, taking over academic forums and then using them to set themselves up as “recognized experts.” I think if we call the APA on it right away, they’ll fold and replace them.

Please help. Spread the word to everyone you know. Any contacts you have with LGBT political advocacy and media organizations, please light a fire with them to pressure the APA to remove Zucker and Blanchard from the DSMV committee. It matters for all of us.

If you want to get a sneak peek at what this would be like, check out our Bachelorette event this Thursday from 7:00pm to 9:00pm at the Soho store. You can get a taste of what the party experience is like and anyone who registers for a party will get a Babeland goodie bag and everyone who attends will be entered to win a free Rabbit Habbit!

M is for Mine
“You comment on my wetness.”

The Story Behind the Waxing
“I tend to go to people that I trust really know what they are doing when it comes to my pussy.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Keeley Hazell Regrets

Editor’s Choice
The sadistic impulse

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Being the Receiver…
Desperate boy.
A Parity of Madams and Whores
Trapped
You say trannyboifag, I say trannyboifag

Sex Work
At Least My Vibrators Don’t Judge Me
Sex Worker Solidarity: Gracie

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Blowjob in the showers
Clarity
Drunk and horny
Flash #1 - Greedy
Two Minutes and 52 Seconds
Unicorn Sighting

Sex & Politics
Um. Pornography is in focus?

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Another Gratuitous Picture Post
Back with HNT!
Half-Nekkid at the Beach
Lilaceous
Mirror Mirror
Monica - Drop On Jacuzzy
Pornsaint Kylie Ireland
Strange Sex Fantasies
Teen bobs on Ron Jeremy’s cock
Video: Long Distance Lovemaking

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews

Catalina loves Melvin Moten, Jr. (An interview with the fetish photographer behind Erocrush.com)
If You Were a Sex Toy, What Would You Be?
My IMsL 2008 Trip – Part 4
The Sexiest Form You Might Ever Fill Out
Shall We Play A Game?

BDSM & Fetish
Cerebral Trainee Subject: Susan
A day of torment (pt 2)
Dining Table Punishment Spanking
Dionysian Tales
Harmony Rose Is Dominated On The Training Of O
Other World Kingdom visit - Part 4
Submissive Little Darling
The Submissive Male Construct and Nice Guys
Weighty Matters

Sex Advice
A Little Lesson on Figging…
Sex Dates for Parents
Vaginal Fisting: What It Is and How to Do It

I love that sex education is something that people can do without a degree. Why should any one group of people have a monopoly over information that is so central to our lives? I might defer to someone if I need to learn about cell biology but when almost everyone has had or will have sex, we can all be experts and share our knowledge.

Plus, as Jamye notes, it’s terrific to see that people are less afraid of admitting there are things they don’t know. We’re all raised with the expectation that we’ll know exactly what we’re doing in bed but no one ever actually teaches us what to do! It’s pretty incredible that anything gets done at all. I applaud the people who attend our workshops for wanting to learn new things, possibly make mistakes but have a whole lot of fun.

Jamye’s article also mentions Ducky Doolittle (pictured), another former Babeland employee and one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. Here’s what Jamye and Ducky have to say.

Ducky Doolittle is the type of sex educator Taormino was talking about. A former peep-show girl, dominatrix and nudie magazine model, Doolittle now finds herself in the spotlight as one of the nation’s top sex educators and the educational coordinator for For Your Pleasure. She’s trained with Planned Parenthood and is a certified sexual assault and violence intervention counselor. Doolittle teaches workshops in private settings and at public venues like the New York Museum of Sex.

She also worked at Babeland, eventually going from sex educator to lead workshop facilitator. That’s where she became the education coordinator, “building the workshop program and training others how to teach,” she says. “I never sought out to be a sex educator. It was just the natural path for me.”

Doolittle says her retail experience provided some of the best sex education she received. “Working at Babeland was one of the best training situations a budding sex educator could find themselves in,” she explains. “All day, you answer sex questions from random strangers. If they stump you, chances are there is someone else on staff who has the answer and who you can learn from.”

I couldn’t agree more. There’s no better place to hone your skills as a sex educator than at a place like Babeland where you get literally every question possible. Whenever I don’t know the answer to something, my coworkers are always there to help. Sometimes I learn from the customers which is a lot of fun.