I love that sex education is something that people can do without a degree. Why should any one group of people have a monopoly over information that is so central to our lives? I might defer to someone if I need to learn about cell biology but when almost everyone has had or will have sex, we can all be experts and share our knowledge.

Plus, as Jamye notes, it’s terrific to see that people are less afraid of admitting there are things they don’t know. We’re all raised with the expectation that we’ll know exactly what we’re doing in bed but no one ever actually teaches us what to do! It’s pretty incredible that anything gets done at all. I applaud the people who attend our workshops for wanting to learn new things, possibly make mistakes but have a whole lot of fun.

Jamye’s article also mentions Ducky Doolittle (pictured), another former Babeland employee and one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. Here’s what Jamye and Ducky have to say.

Ducky Doolittle is the type of sex educator Taormino was talking about. A former peep-show girl, dominatrix and nudie magazine model, Doolittle now finds herself in the spotlight as one of the nation’s top sex educators and the educational coordinator for For Your Pleasure. She’s trained with Planned Parenthood and is a certified sexual assault and violence intervention counselor. Doolittle teaches workshops in private settings and at public venues like the New York Museum of Sex.

She also worked at Babeland, eventually going from sex educator to lead workshop facilitator. That’s where she became the education coordinator, “building the workshop program and training others how to teach,” she says. “I never sought out to be a sex educator. It was just the natural path for me.”

Doolittle says her retail experience provided some of the best sex education she received. “Working at Babeland was one of the best training situations a budding sex educator could find themselves in,” she explains. “All day, you answer sex questions from random strangers. If they stump you, chances are there is someone else on staff who has the answer and who you can learn from.”

I couldn’t agree more. There’s no better place to hone your skills as a sex educator than at a place like Babeland where you get literally every question possible. Whenever I don’t know the answer to something, my coworkers are always there to help. Sometimes I learn from the customers which is a lot of fun.

Always Aroused Girl: Bedroom Revision

Urban Gypsy: Squeezing it all in

Christen Clifford: Sexy Mama Take #2 – Babeland Giveaways!

Seattle Mom Blogs: Moms Like Sex Too

In Brooklyn, Babeland is proud to sponsor and would like to invite all moms and non-moms of the Park Slope area to attend:

The Second Annual Edgy Moms Reading and Cocktail Party:

Tales of Motherhood without Sanctimony.

Join seven notable and notably edgy writer-moms for a fun reading over a much-needed cocktail in honor of Mothers Day. From single moms to sexy moms to moms who let their kids ride the MTA alone; these writers will shock, amuse, and entertain you, and they won’t make you eat your vegetables before you get dessert. Enjoy a totally un-Hallmark way to celebrate the mother in your life. Babeland will be offering goodie bags at a raffle as well as coupons for all attendees.
Admission free and open to all

Readers of the night are:

Amy Benfer, essayist and Salon writer who became a mom at sixteen

Louise Crawford, The Brooklyn Paper’s Smartmom and editor of Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn

Christen Clifford, writer/performer of Off-Broadway’s hit show Babylove: True Stories about Sex and Motherhood

Michele Somerville Madigan, poet and blogger, Fresh Poetry Daily

Sophia Romero, blogger, The Shiksa from Manila and novelist, Always Hiding

Lenore Skenazy, controversial New York Sun writer, who let her 9-year-old take the subway alone

Louise Sloan, author of Knock Yourself Up: A Tell-All Guide to Becoming a Single Mom

Amy Sohn, novelist, Run Catch Kiss and My Old Man, Park Slope ruckus rouser

The Montauk Club
25 8th Avenue between Lincoln and St. Johns Pl. in Park Slope, Brooklyn
Thursday May 15th
7 p.m.: Cocktails (cash bar)
7:30 p.m.: Reading

Think again: when the fire to create (and educate) burns, it will burn until you draw your last breath.

As a prolific artist, Dr. Sprinkle has collaborated with luminaries ranging from seminal Fluxist, Willem DeRidder, to groundbreaking feminist performance artist, Linda Montano. Her newest collaborative project, Love Art Lab, draws on her feminist and conceptual art background and understanding of convergent social issues, while infusing it all with the colorful, sexy fun that she has become known for.

From the Love Art Lab website:

We, Elizabeth M. Stephens and Annie M. Sprinkle, are an artist couple committed to doing projects that explore, generate, and celebrate love. We utilize visual art, installation, theater pieces, interventions, live-art, exhibitions, lectures, printed matter and activism. Each year we orchestrate one or more interactive performance art weddings in collaboration with various national and international communities, then display the ephemera in art galleries. Our projects incorporate the colors and themes of the chakras, a structure inspired by Linda M. Montano’s 14 Years of Living Art.

The Love Art Laboratory grew out of our response to the violence of war, the anti-gay marriage movement, and our prevailing culture of cynicism. We hope the Love Art Laboratory will help make the world a more fun, sexy, tolerant, love-filled place.

Choosing this year to focus on the color green, the couple will be celebrating their 4th wedding on May 17th. In renewing their vows of love, Dr. Sprinkle and Ms. Stephens will add complementary promises to honor and cherish the Earth. Open to the public, the couple requests that guests attire themselves in green (whether it be formal, costume, or sculptural) for the ceremony; and, oh, what a ceremony it will be! Including over 70 participants (from artist Linda Montano to porn legend Veronica Hart), the event details are as follows:

Gather & Green Hors d’oeuvres: 2:30-3:00pm.
Ceremony Performance: 3:00-5:00pm.
Green Cake & Bouquet Toss: 5:00-5:30pm
Where: In the Shakespeare Glen, University of California Santa Cruz
Wedding Themes: Love, Compassion, Environmentalism, and the Earth.

Since I regrettably am unable to attend, I’d like to take a moment to offer my Mazel Tov to the brides. I’ll be keeping you both (along with the Earth) in my thoughts.

Find full details on the Love Art Lab at www.loveartlab.org
Visit Dr. Annie Sprinkle at www.anniesprinkle.org
Visit Ms. Elizabeth Stephens at www.elizabethstephens.org

Sue’s show is a call-in show and she gets every question known to personkind. As a sex educator, it’s always fun and interesting to hear another person’s answer to a question you’ve gotten before. Sue is a nurse, so she knows her anatomy and she manages to combine both grandmotherly caring (”oh honey, you probably don’t want to stick that in your ass”) and a ‘been there, heard that’ attitude that is comforting and normalizing. I’m really going to miss having her around - and hearing the call-in questions every week.

I can’t recommend enough that you check out the last episode. Find a friend who has cable and loves sex toys and catch her before she’s gone. There are also some awesome clips on YouTube (of course!). I particularly like this one where Sue debunks the necessity of deep throating and gives some great tips for oral sex.

The best part is that in some photos there are actually many dildos and sex toys and you can go dildo hunting. It would make a great game for a bachelorette party! In the photo below, there are apparently 7 sex toys, can you find them all?

My mother is a wonderful woman who successfully raised three daughters while balancing a career. She also also attended an all-girls Catholic school: from elementary school to high school, Catholic nuns, guilt, and repression informed her understanding of the world. You get where this is going, yes?

My mother and I are incapable of talking about sex.

My knowledge of sex came not from my mother, but from a friend in the fourth grade; when I shyly went to my mother for further information on the topic (in form of a written note), I was taken to the nearest bookstore and gifted with the children’s classics “Where Did I Come From?” and “What’s Happening to My Body?” Aside from the requisite mother-daughter talk on the mechanics of menstruation, the topic wasn’t again broached until I entered my mid-teens. At that point, I was asked (albeit tentatively) if I wanted to use birth control, then reminded to make use of condoms. Pleasure-based sexuality was never discussed, nor masturbation or oral sex; and as for same-sex or queer relations? Forget it… you may as well tried proving that unicorns exist.

Like many young people, I was a precocious and inquisitive thing. When I couldn’t glean sufficient knowledge from my mother, I found it for myself by discovering my father’s slim Penthouse stash, then through the friendship of a bravely out-and-proud high school friend, and finally by moving away to the big city to attend art school. All stereotypes holding true, I was greeted with a bevy of sex and variety of sexual expressions amongst my classmates, which was further complemented by involvement in the Riot Grrrl scene and work with ACT-UP. Not only was I academically, politically, and physically aware of the myriad aspects of sexuality, but I came into my own as a fully sex-positive young woman.

But not all of us are able (or wanting) to escape to the big city; and not all of us have my mom.

I’ll be the first to admit that I was fortunate. Given that my mom was parenting in the repressive Reagan era, she went above and beyond the call of duty. After asking those in my age range, I’ve found that many mothers of this era would not have discussed sex at all, let alone bring birth control to the table. Conversely, I wish I’d been able to discuss how disappointing my first go at sex was; or my first success with a male partner; or my first female partner; or even that I write and talk about sex for a living. None of those topics are (or have been) up for discussion: my mother becomes screamingly embarrassed by the mere mention of sex (in relation to either herself or me), and I in turn become embarrassed by her embarrassment.

My mother is by no means common. She has worked hard to understand alternate sexualities and the fluidity of gender, and knows that one is not a “sick pervert” for engaging in BDSM. However, I cannot discuss these things with her on a personal level, and I will always mourn that absence in our communication. It is for this reason that I would like to celebrate the next wave of Sexy Mamas who are ferreting out these new and innovative lines of communication with their own little ones. It may seem an impossible task, but seeing these mothers do it with such thoughtfulness and aplomb is giving me hope for a new generation of sex-positive parents and children.

A happy upcoming Mother’s Day to all of you… my own beloved mother included.

Pam slips in her scare tactics in some pretty sly ways. Worried about getting pregnant? That should be the least of your worries because pregnant girls have 2.5 STDs which will make you sterile and kill you. Yes, kill you. From this news, Pam develops the logic that in fact, Birth Control KILLS. I’m not joking. Apparently, if you’re on birth control and because of that you’re not using condoms and you get HIV, then Birth Control is responsible. I would try to think about this more but it makes my head hurt.

Like all abstinence-only educators, Pam’s only solution to remaining baby and STD free is to not have sex until you’re married. For someone who bills herself as supporting facts, Pam must not be aware of studies that show that 95% of people have sex before they are married. Does Pam think she’s going to stem that tide with her dynamic speaking and her lies? I highly doubt it. Instead of using her power for good and giving kids useful information that will help keep them safe when they do eventually have sex, Pam is endangering kids by withholding useful information. For instance, knowing that birth control does not protect against STDs is actually a great thing to know, unless that knowledge is followed closely by the sentence “birth control will kill you”. If I was 15 and I sat through her entire presentation knowing nothing about birth control or STDs, I don’t think I’d remember the larger argument about not using condoms and fear of pregnancy. I’d just remember that birth control could kill me and I wouldn’t use it.

This is not to say that I’m against abstinence and think that all adolescents should be having sex. I think abstinence is a great choice. It’s just a choice that not everyone will make. For those who do not chose abstinence, they need to know how to protect themselves. What also gets lost in this discussion is that for everyone, abstinent or not, sex is not something that should only be talked about with scare tactics and in the context of disease. Sex is fun! It feels great! Have it when you’re ready and protect yourself. The end.

I’m all bogged down in papers and finals for graduate school right now but watching this video has given me some inspiration to get through it, knowing that I’ll come out on the other end ready to do battle. I’m already developing my skills by working at Babeland. There aren’t too many places in this country where pleasure and sex are actually celebrated as key aspects to personhood - whether you’re married or not. Whenever I see a video like this, I hope that one day, these adolescents will stumble into Babeland and I’ll get the chance to help undo all of that damage.

L’Artiste
“I want time to sip my whisky, to drink you in as you unveil yourself, as you offer your body to my steady gaze.”

Learning My Limits (Part 1)
“It hurts. It’s gorgeous. ”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
24-Months of AVN Online, $0

Editor’s Choice
The Few, The Proud, The Pornless

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

BDSM & Fetish
Catching Up on the Back Story
Cut to the chaste
A date with Lumpo
Damaged Lovers
Desire beyond reason but within bounds
Follow My Rules-Part 1
His Slut
It’s just a through and through
M
Messy Kitchen Figging and Thrashing Video
On fire
Points of Order
The Promise
What a way to start the day!

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews
Leave It to Beaver
Masturbation Month Is Here!
New At Nuts4chic - Pick Up Lines That Make You Groan
New Jimi Hendrix SEX Tape out Now!!
Rascal Wear Leather Wrist And Ankle Cuffs Review
Sex Toy Review of The Rude Boy For Babeland

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Audrey Bitoni and Angela
Bedroom Radio #14 “Sex 2.0 and Spanking”
Half-Nekkid on Silky Pillow Cases
Half-Nekkid Thursday: Flashing the Neighbors
Pictures ( a bed & 2 guys!)
Sasha Grey (Goddess)
Scarlett Johansson - Fucking Hot Babe in Red

Sex Advice
Putting the “Play” Back into Playing with Yourself
Strap-Ons 101

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Confession
Denial.
Encounter
I want….
A Perfect Ten
Possibly the best, so far
Switch
Tease and Denial are NOT Reciprocal
Under My Thumb

Sex Work
Reality Check: Asshole Clients

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Am I or Aren’t I?
Green eyed monster
The Inevitable

So how do I make time for sex? The same way I make time for dinner, doctors’ appointments and vacations–planning! It might lack the “swept off your feet” quality of spontaneous couplings, but the upside is that the anticipation of a planned night of passion serves to heighten my libido throughout the day.

So, yeah, I have “sex dates.” And let me tell you there are plenty of nights where sex can just feel like one more chore, but inevitably I am glad I keep this a priority. Even though I don’t feel like I’ve caught up on my sleep in 11 years (age of oldest child), and even though I work two jobs (the day job and the parenting job) and am wiped out almost every day, sex can re-energize me. Sexual intimacy is a key part of my self-esteem, so I try to keep it at the top of my to do list!

Here are some tips I put together for my book Sexy Mamas: Keeping Your Sex Life Alive While Raising Kids:
* You and your partner should review your schedules together each week, and choose a time when you can be alone together. If you’re booked solid, you could each agree to cancel an appointment (or alternate weeks).

* Find a good babysitter. I don’t need to tell you how crucial babysitters are to your mental health–everyone needs somebody they can call on when the kids are just too much. Use your baby sitter to cover during your sex dates. If you can get a relative or sitter to take your child out of the house, you’ll enjoy the privacy that much more.

* Plan a night away. My friends once booked my partner and I a room in a hotel down the street from our house and brought my daughter over to breast feed. It was a wonderful idea!

* Free up some time. If you can afford it, look for time-saving solutions: hire a house-cleaner, order take-out food, have your bills paid electronically, get a grocery delivery service. Use the freed up time for sex!

* Plan around your child’s nap. If you’ve got the flexibility, daytime trysts during baby’s naps can be a great time to recharge your sexual batteries (unless you need a nap too!).

* Get your partner to do the work. A few years ago a Glamour survey showed that most moms, when asked what they’d do with an extra hour of the day, said “watch TV or read a book.” Only 10% chose sex, which fell well below “catching up on chores” and “catching up on sleep.” So this says to me that most moms are overloaded, and need more time to relax. So if your partner wants sex, get him or her to chip in more with the housework or childcare so you can have the downtime you need to get in touch with your sexuality.

Enjoyed this post? It’s part of the Sexy Mamas Blog Event happening in May in honor of mother’s day. For more provocative posts on the topic of sex and motherhood, check out:

JanesGuide www.janesguide.com/wpmu/janesays
Always Aroused Girl aagblog.com
Urban Gypsy nyc-urban-gypsy.blogspot.com
Single Mom Seeking www.singlemomseeking.com/blog
Christen Clifford christenclifford.com/blog
Janna Cawrse Esarey seattlemomblogs.com/moms-like-sex-too
Happily Even After blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com/HappilyEvenAfter

Janes Guide: My take on sex-positive is this: good sex is an integral part of our lives, necessary for physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing. And that is in whatever form is right for the person involved, be it gay, straight, bi, queer, poly, monogamous, kinky, ‘nilla, or whatever inbetween of any of those. The other part of being sex positive, to me, is to make myself available for questions, but not to foist information on them before they want it. They have access to tons of reading if they’re uncomfortable asking me things.

Urban Gypsy: I want my child to be able to say NO with conviction. I want her to know that someday she is probably going to hear one or more of these lines and how to respond to them:

If you love me you’d do it.
Let me just stick it in for a second.
C’mon, just the tip.
A blow job isn’t sex.
Anal isn’t sex.
I can’t feel anything with a condom.

Christen Clifford: And now that my son is almost 5, and I’m pregnant again, raising him in a sex positive household means:

• not shying away from explanations of how babies are made
• expressing my affection for my partner in front of my child
• trying (!) to kiss my partner before my child when I walk in the door
• talking about all the different kinds of families we know
• answering all questions honestly and with facts
• expressing my need for privacy
• teaching him about privacy

Seattle Mom Blogs: Now, I know we don’t really want to think about our kids being sexual–just as kids cringe thinking of their parents being sexual–but I think a Sex-Positive Family for me means presenting sex as a normal, healthy, happy part of life. Because, after all, that’s what I believe sex should be. Not taboo. Not creepy. Not full of shame and insecurity and fear. Though I suspect we all pick up a bit of that sex baggage from the weird way our culture views sex anyway.

I, Asshole: Things are getting easier with her now though. She asks questions about sex and love a little hesitantly, but frankly, about things she doesn’t understand. The other day she confessed that she dreamt she kissed a boy. It sounded very sweet and chaste, much like my first erotic dream about Michael J. Fox. It was fun for me to see her all thrilled and yet kind of freaked out about it all.

“Well, that’s totally normal,” I said. “Everyone has dreams like that.” I told her I dreamt about holding hands with Michael J. Fox, because we saw Back to the Future recently and she knows who he is.

“He was considered one of the cutest boys in America when I was your age,” I said, waving my cane of old cronedom around.

“No WAI,” was her stunned reply.

WAI.