Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher and teacher at The Kinsey Institute and Indiana University who started teaching sex ed to college students at IU. She has written sex columns for numerous newspapers and magazines and is frequently called on by journalists, which is how she met Grant Stoddard. Grant is an author and journalist, covering sex and lifestyles for numerous magazines, including New York, GQ and Glamour. Grant started writing about sex as a naïve intern at Nerve.com with the “I Did It For Science” column. They both have great blogs, too. Check out MySexProfessor.com, and GrantStoddard.com.

Q: One of the things I appreciated about Great in Bed is that it gives a lot of advice about handling the different situations that come with sex – from the first date to the morning after. How did you decide what to focus on? There’s so much to say about sex!

Debby: We wanted Great in Bed to be able to help a wide range of people to have fantastic sex – whether they were just starting out with someone or trying to find ways to make sex better after several months or years together. We also, of course, realize that quality sex doesn’t wait until you have your clothes off and are rolling around naked. You’ve got to meet someone first. Get things to go well. Flirt, touch, kiss, have something to say to one another. All of it matters.

Grant: I thought of practical information that I really could have used instead of learning through trial and error. And of course, I’m always striving to be better in bed (as we all should be) so I learned a lot of fascinating new information through my research and even more from Dr. Debby’s wealth of knowledge in the field. I’ve already referred to it a dozen times or more! (Not *during* the act, obviously.)

Q: There’s a message throughout the book about feeling confident. We teach sex workshops at Babeland and notice that this is the number one challenge for our customers. Why do people generally feel this lack of sexual confidence?

Debby: As a society, we don’t give people much sex education or information to go on. Most of us have a sense that we’re pretty much in the dark when it comes to sex. It takes practice, learning, exposure to ideas, a partner who smiles or moans and lets you know things are going well – all of these can build confidence.

Grant: I think it’s also because people fear judgment. We’re bombarded with information about what’s “normal” and what’s not and we may be hesitant to share what turns us on for fear of feeling judged. I remember plucking up the courage to do this particular thing I had refrained from doing for weeks — thinking I’d freak my partner out – only to find that she loved that thing, too. Through experience I’ve learned that the more that we are our true selves (in sex and in life) the happier we are. This is borne out in several studies in the book — some of which were authored by Debby herself.

Q: Valentine’s Day is coming up soon. Do you have any tips for making it memorable?

Debby: Aside from grabbing a copy of Great in Bed, turning to a random page, and trying what you find? Sure. If you’ve got a partner, talk to them about what you want it to be like. Not everyone wants to go out to dinner and have a big box of chocolates. Some people would rather stay in and watch the same movie at home that they watched in the theater on their first date with you. Some people want a threesome or a massage or to go away on a spontaneous weekend trip, even if it’s just to the next town.

Grant: Whether you’re a new couple or if you’ve been together for years, make dinner together. You get to create something together, enjoy it together, and be in each other’s company. It’s much funner than going out to eat and you can go from dessert to the bedroom in no time and bust out all the new knowledge you’ve gleaned from Great in Bed!

Q: We’re excited to host you both at Babeland on February 8th. What can people expect at the event?

Debby: We’re excited to meet everyone who’s coming out. There will be drinks and plenty of sex talk; we’ll be taking anonymous questions and interviewing each other. Of course, Babeland is known for its accessible and yet ever-entertaining array of sex toys, so we’re hoping to show people around the store, too, and come up with a few new ideas for being great in bed.

Grant: Some good advice, lively discussion, and more ideas for giving hand jobs than you ever thought possible.

Great in Bed Book Launch and Discussion, Wednesday, February 8th at Babeland SoHo, 7pm, free. Call 212-966-2120 for more information.

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This post, Interview With Great In Bed Co-Authors, Dr. Debby Herbenick and Grant Stoddard, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on February 6, 2012. Tweet This Post!

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Midori is one of THE best sex educators I have had the honor of learning from. I especially love how much she pays attention to her pupils and weaves their questions into the lesson in seamless ways so we are all learning her tips and tricks and applying them to specific real life situations.

This weekend she is teaching the Art of Feminine Dominance, Level 1. I have taken this class before, and it has a major positive impact on my sex life. People often think they have to be a dominatrix to take this class, but really this class is about getting what you want in the bedroom, and in life in general to be honest.

This class is really a confidence booster at its core. It teaches you how to walk into a room and take charge. Not ordering people around and using a whip “take charge” (unless that is what you were hoping for), but how to channel your feminine energy; head up, shoulder back and walk into that room and with the turn of your head, the way you sit down, or ask (read: tell) someone to get you something, or touch someone, or look their way, “take charge”. It helps in the bedroom whether you want to be the top, or the bottom. It helps on first dates asserting yourself and conveying what you want in a relationship. It helps in long term relationships when you want to spice things up. It helps if you are typically passive and want a little role reversal. And it helps when you need that boost of confidence in other, non sexual situations. Midori is great at helping each participant develop their own brand of feminine dominance. It looks and feels really different for everyone, and she is a master at helping each person bring it out in their own way.

Take advantage of this opportunity to learn from Midori while she is in town. She might not be back again until next February so don’t miss her now.

Comment below to enter to win a ticket to this weekend’s class. Tell us your own tips for being dominant, sexy, feminine, how much you want to go to this class or anything else. We will pick a winner on Saturday afternoon.

Midori: The Art of Feminine Dominance, Level 1
Sunday, February 05, 7:30PM, $35
Elegance, power and confidence…learn an effective style of dominance that is authentic to you. Using her own special technique, Midori will help you to unleash your power femme, allowing you to pursue erotic fulfillment and sensual play. She will discuss psychology, politics, practical exercises, techniques, fashion and more. Novice and experienced dommes will pick up something. Open to all genders and orientations. Partners are welcome to attend.

This class is held in the Seattle Store.

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This post, Art of Feminine Dominance with Midori (WIN a ticket!), originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on February 3, 2012. Tweet This Post!

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Get your name in the drawing when you sign up for a Babeland email newsletter. You’ll receive updates about new toys, sex tips and special discounts in the newsletter and get a chance to win one of these fabulous prizes. If you’re already a newsletter subscriber, don’t worry, you’re already eligible to win. If not, sign up here and good luck!

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This post, Lelo Lap of Luxury Contest, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on February 2, 2012. Tweet This Post!

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This weekend only! Flash Sale on the Groovy Chick vibrator. This  waterproof, u-shaped vibe takes care of your clit and G-spot at the same time. Made of high-quality silicone, it’s hygienic and can be easily cleaned with soap and water or remove the vibe and boil it for disinfecting. 40% off means it’s marked down from $68 to $44.

Get free shipping on orders of $50 or more on babeland.com. We know how you stress about shopping for Valentine’s Day, so consider this your incentive to get it done early and take advantage of this offer before it ends on February 3rd.

If you’ve been longing for one of the Jimmyjane Form vibrators (the 2,3,4 or 6), now is the time to act. We’ll give you a free Jimmyjane Afterglow Candle with it. That’s a $29 value and the offer lasts until Valentine’s Day.

If that isn’t enough, we’re adding in a free Babeland Edible Body Chocolate for all purchases of $75 or more. Pairing sex with chocolate has never tasted better. This chocolate is so good, you’ll want to eat it on your ice cream, too. This offer only lasts until February 2nd.

The We-Vibe 3 is getting rave reviews since it hit our shelves. We’re pairing it with a free 4 oz. bottle of BabeLube until Valentine’s Day. Now you’ve got everything you need for a hot and sexy evening.

Happy shopping!

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This post, Flash Sale, Free Shipping, and Gifts With Purchase, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on January 27, 2012. Tweet This Post!

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Tracy from Brooklyn will be sharing her love of the Uma, a versatile vibrator that can be used internally, externally and as a G-spot toy. If your Valentine likes it all, then the Uma is the one!

Krista is giving the sheer one piece bodysuit, the Villa Cancan from Maison Close, to herself as a way to feel sexy for her next lover. This French lingerie line flatters and fits a wide range of body types and will make you feel sexy and confident.

Mary, the Retail Department Manager, speaks for the Tor vibrating cock ring as the perfect gift for your man. It’s high-tech, stylish and rechargeable. He’ll love it’s comfortable fit and you’ll both love its variable speeds and six vibration modes.

What will you be giving for Valentine’s Day? Read more Staff Picks.

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This post, Valentine’s Day Picks From Sex Educators, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on January 23, 2012. Tweet This Post!

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The Bachelorette got a fabulous gift for her honeymoon, including a copy of Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex,  Massage Candles, BabeLube Natural, Edible Body Chocolate and a vibrating panty set. The guests at the party, which included a hot stripper, all got Babeland Buzz vibes, Babeland Condoms and lubettes. They pulled off a super-fun party! (We offer Bachelorette parties as part of our Premier Services Program, too. Get in touch if you’d like to know more.) We love how the show turned out and had a blast with Jasmine and Shawn and want them to come back soon. Since we’re on the subject, what TV show would you like to see Babeland on?

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This post, Babeland on Chef Roblé & Co., originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on January 17, 2012. Tweet This Post!

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Take 15% off your purchase on babeland.com Friday, January 13-Monday, January 16. There are a few exceptions, check here for details. Use promo code WARMUP.

In Babeland stores in New York City and Seattle , all weekend you get more bang for your buck. Take $5 off your purchase of $50 or more and a whopping $20 off your purchase of $100 or more. That means you can pick up the brand new Happiness & Joy vibe, a dual-action, music-responsive toy recently launched by Kandi Burruss of Real Housewives of Atlanta fame, marked down from $129 to $109. Great deal!

Happy Winter!

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This post, Sex Toy Sale to Help Beat the Winter Chill, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on January 13, 2012. Tweet This Post!

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1. Throw out what you’ve been told about sex, what you think you should be doing, the way you think you’re supposed to act or respond. It’s making your sex life less fun, less playful, and less fulfilling.

2.  All bodies are hot and however your body works is right. Great sex isn’t bestowed on people who look a certain way. Every day, our customers tell us that something about their sex lives doesn’t correspond to the response they think they should be having. None of it is true! All bodies and desires are different. Resolve to have the kind of sex you actually want and to learn what your partner wants, as well.

3. Lube! This one isn’t new, but it’s still one of the most important tools in your nightstand. Lube can take any kind of stimulation and make it feel even better. While we can offer some helpful advice about different types of lube for different activities – thicker lube for anal sex, silicone lube for use in water – what works best is a personal preference. Try the Sliquid Lube Cube so that you can sample six different kinds of lube.

4. Dirty talk is magical. Take any kind of stimulation and suddenly by talking about it, the whole act can feel even more intense and incredible. If it feels awkward, get started by describing the action. It’s okay to feel a bit silly at first. “I’m rubbing you with this finger vibe,” or “I’m going to slide this vibrating cock ring on you.”

5. Better communication via a Yes/No/Maybe list. Make a list of all the sex acts you can think of, from kissing to fisting to 69 and BDSM, or take the list from Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex. You and your partner get to mark each act indicating your willingness to do it. At the end, you have a hot sex menu to choose from! In the New Year, you can use this as a tool to see what you want to try out for the first time and what you want to learn about.

6. Try something new, like backdoor sex. One of the most common questions we’re asked is about how to start out with anal penetration. We love answering this question and there’s so much we could tell you, but it mostly comes down to this: use thick lube, go slowly, start with something small. Anal sex shouldn’t hurt, and it’s a nasty, persistent myth that it will. It should feel really, really good for both women and men.

7. Use the right tools for stimulating the G-spot. A good G-spot toy has a dramatic curve and can be made of a hard material so that you can put pressure on the G-spot. The Uma and the Gigi are two of our favorites.

8. Try a twist on an old position. Instead of the missionary position for anal or vaginal sex, lift the butt of the person being penetrated. This lets the other partner be on their knees, instead of holding themselves up on their hands. Try using the Heart Wedge. It’s a dense foam cushion designed for sex and it positions the butt at the perfect angle to enhance G-spot or prostate stimulation. It also opens up the front of the body so that you can stimulate the clit or cock.

9. Touch, stroke, and play with your partner’s whole body. There are so many different kinds of stimulation. Try a massage candle to loosen them up all over. Running a Pinwheel up an arm gives a delicious chill. A small, soft leather flogger can bring a sexy sting to a butt. Use your imagination.

10. Have fun! Laugh! Be messy! Make weird noises! Let go of your inhibitions. There’s no right way to have sex, so take the pressure off yourself and enjoy it.

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This post, Babeland’s Top 10 Sex Tips of 2011, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on January 2, 2012. Tweet This Post!

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Every store is hosting special free workshops this weekend, too. Discover our Top 10 Sex Tips of 2011 at Babeland Brooklyn on Saturday, imbibe at a Champagne Happy Hour in the New York stores while you shop on New Year’s Eve, and join us for Sex Resolutions You Can Keep, a free mini-workshop in Seattle on New Year’s Day. Check our Events page for more information and other events.

If shopping online is more your thing, you won’t miss out. Get 25% off the top 25 toys of 2011 now through January 10th. The bestselling Tenga Flip, a Japanese masturbation sleeve, is marked down from $99 to $74. Stock up on BabeLube Natural, marked down from $12 to $9, too. 2012 is looking pretty sexy.

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This post, Babeland’s Semi-Annual Sale, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on December 29, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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Try out the bestselling men’s toy the Tenga Flip, a Japanese masturbation sleeve with strategically-placed, sumptuously textured pockets of sensation. It’s marked down from $99 to $74. Stock up on BabeLube Natural, a media-darling in 2011. This gel formula contains mostly organic ingredients, including aloe and hibiscus (moisturizing and soothing), flax (healing and emollient), green tea (anti-inflammatory), and carrageenan (linked in some studies to preventing HPV transmission). And aside from all that, BabeLube Natural is vegan, cruelty-free, paraben-free, glycerin-free, and contains no added or artificial scent, sugar, or artificial sweeteners. It’s marked down from $12 to $9. Enjoy!

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This post, Sale on the Best Sex Toys of 2011, originally appeared on Babeland's Blog on December 27, 2011. Tweet This Post!

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